Archive | July, 2010

A Little Unexpected

30 Jul

Dear Doctor,

Due to the awesomeness of my job, I recieved a subpoena the other day requesting my presence at court in Old State very soon (this particular case I would never try to back out of).  So, I am heading out by you even before I am set to travel out there in the first place.  I called my best friend, she is going to be out of town, so I called you.  Can I stay with you?  I asked.  I could hear the excitement in your voice when you said OF COURSE!  I think people in England heard the excitement…

So we will be playing house for a few days.  You have to work most of the time I am there, and I am just fine with that.  I told you as long as I have movies, popcorn, and beer I can keep myself occupied.  It will be interesting to see how the nights go.  We have never done overnight visits before.  We have never spent that much time together before.  We are going to get to know each other in a whole new intimate way.  Could be make-or-break time…

Love, Esme


One Day Closer

28 Jul

Dear Men In The Mix,

Ticket to Las Vegas?  Check.  Confirmation e-mail from you outlining super-nice room with one king-sized bed?  Check.  Daily e-mails on how you can’t wait?  Check.  Another month wondering What-The-Hell-Is-Going-To-Happen-On-This-Trip feelings?  Double check.  But at least I found the most awesome pink snake-skin stilettos, so I will look phenomenal no matter what happens!

Ticket to Old State?  Check.  A whole 24-hour block of time with you?  Check.  Old feelings coming to the surface?  Check.  Repeated e-mails, text messages and phone calls telling me of your excitement?  Very much so check.  May have to reuse the stilettos…

Text message from you telling me how much fun you had on our date?  Check.  One check…easy.  With the other things I have in the mix, easy is good…

Love, Esme

Hmmm…A Few Things In The Mix…

27 Jul

Dear men,

So I have a few interesting things going on with a few of you…let me try to lay it out the best way I can…

Mr Irish-man-you and I had a date last night.  And oh what a date it was!  We didn’t get too far into the night when we began ripping each other’s clothes off.  (This was not my intention when I met up with you, but what the hell!)  Hands feeling, mouths kissing.  It was, in one word, amazing.  I don’t see this ending anytime too soon.  And if it does, the memory of last night is all I need.

Mr Nice Guy-even after you broke things off because you needed time to figure things out in your life, we continued talking.  We talk all the time, usually once a day.  Even though we now live in different states we have remained good friends.  The other day you called me and asked if I wanted to meet you in Las Vegas.  (Now, this may come as a complete shock that I, a 30-something who is divorced and went a little wild, has not been to Las Vegas.  But alas, it is true.)  Ummm…hells yeah I want to go to Vegas!  We are meeting in Sin City at the end of August.  This trip should be interesting for a few reasons.  One, I really need to let loose and go crazy.  What better place to do it?  Two, we had never been intimate.  Ever.  We were waiting.  What is going to happen when we are sharing space in the ‘what happens here stays here’ capitol?  Three, I really-honestly-truly do not want to change our friendship.  So I think it is going to take a lot of willpower on both of our parts.  And that’s hard when the alcohol is flowing.

Doctor-well, I will be seeing you real soon.  We have also kept in touch, even though we live in different states now.  You are finishing up a very messy divorce.  I have talked you through many sleepless nights.  Been your proverbial shoulder to cry on.  I told you I was coming out to Old State for a five-day visit to see a friend of mine.  You…have decided to take me out while I am there.  A real honest-to-goodness date is the way you put it.  I am nervous, scared, excited, so many other emotions at the same time.  You asked me what I want to do, and I told you I want to go to a dive bar and play darts.  A little out of your element, but you are game.  I am really excited to see you.  I know what we had going on before was not cool.  Not OK.  Not ANYTHING BUT WRONG.  (Funny enough, that isn’t what lead to your divorce)  But I can’t wait.

So, a few of you in the mix that is Esme’s dating life.  I had a brief moment of some guilty feelings.  3 guys, none of which know about each other.  But then I remembered that I am not marrying any of you. (Well, if Doctor had his way I would move back and be with him-but that is another letter).  And I have not had the ‘we are exclusive’ talk with any of you guys, either.  And the guilty thoughts flew away.  I’m in this for fun. and for the experience of dating.  So I raise my glass and say:


Love, Esme

Back On That Dating Horse!

23 Jul

Dear Irish-man,

I am working on getting settled into life in Brand New State.  Connecting with old friends, re-scouting old hang-outs.  Just having fun and enjoying some Esme time.  Then you walk around a corner and into my life…

Tall, red hair, green eyes…straight outta Ireland.  Oh.  My.  God.  And you were walking over to my table.  The closer you came, the wider my eyes got.  You asked if you could join me, and I guess I nodded my approval.  Don’t remember…truly don’t remember…

We talked for a couple of hours.  You passed me your number.  You told me to call you.  I broke a rule and I did.

We met up at a nice restaurant for some drinks.  I like having drinks…easy to get away if need be!  There was no need.  We talked.  We laughed.  You would touch my shoulder and my arm while you were telling a story.  You told me I was attractive.  You said you were having a good time.  You would lean in while I was talking.  You were putting your drink in my space.  Damn…your good.  You know how to work this.  You know how to get what you want.  No one is this smooth on a first date.

You walked me to my car when I had to call an end to the night.  Of course I knew you would do that.  I knew you would lean in for a kiss.  And I knew it was going to be great.

It was better than great.  You put your hand on my cheek, moved it to the back of my neck, and pulled me in.  We kissed tentatively at first, just enjoying those first few seconds of a first kiss.  You then put your other arm around my waist and hauled me up against your body.  The kiss deepened and you moaned your approval.  My body has never reacted so strongly to a kiss before.  I was becoming putty in your hands, your mouth keeping me captivated.  I broke off the kiss and looked at you.  Your eyes were heavy, your breathing irregular.  It affected you as well.  I took a step back and composed myself.  I know I was about two seconds away from being thrown up against my car.  That thought made me smile…

We are going to have a great time together, I said as I opened my car door.  You smiled at me, a crooked half-smile that I am now convinced every guy practices in front of a mirror.  Yes, you said,  it is going to be a hell of a good time.

Fuck yeah it is…

Love, Esme

Wrong In Every Way

8 Jul

From the memory archives

Dear Doctor,

Our ‘relationship’, if that is what it can be called, is over.  And I am amazingly upset about it.  The whole relationship was wrong, in every sense of the word.  From day one.  I got sucked into a world I did not want to be a part of, but I couldn’t run away.  I spent many sleepless nights thinking of ways to end it.  Many more when I realized I didn’t want to end it.  Many more still trying to figure out why.

We had begun talking many months ago when I was attempting online dating.  You sent me a message telling me my smile was beautiful.  You said you were interested in getting to know me better.  I’m a sucker for someone telling me my smile is great…not sure why.  I responded to your e-mail and we began communicating, exchanging yahoo ID’s.  Eventually leading to exchanging phone numbers.

Soon after we started ‘talking’ you told me you were married.  I was a little taken back by this new twist, but kept writing you.  Soon after e-mails turned into chatting online, lasting hours-well into the night.  You finally explained to me that you and your wife had an open marriage.  That your marriage was starting to crumble, and your wife had thrown out the option of seeing other people.  I was highly skeptical about this.  I have heard many guys at the fire house claim to have an open marriage, only later to find out it was only open on one side with the other side not being aware of the arrangement.  OUCH.  I didn’t want to be a part of that.  I knew I should put the brakes on.  But I didn’t.

I started to look forward to our chats.  I would turn on the computer and wait for you to be online.  My heart would race when I would hear the DING. We exchanged pictures.  You complimented me.  I was able to tell you about my day at work.  We had intelligent conversation.  You continually asked to meet me.  I continually demurred, always having an excuse.  Most of the times my excuses were legit.  Sometimes not.  I was pretty sure I knew what would happen if we met.  And I just wasn’t sure yet.

I have to say I was surprised you kept communicating with me.  Even you said you were surprised you were still talking to me.  I had turned you down on so many occasions you thought I was a lost cause.  However, you said you just liked talking with me.  That there was something about me.  And you didn’t know what.

I was out one night with a girlfriend of mine, and she cut our night short.  It was 8:30 at night, and here I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. I looked at my cell phone for a long moment.  I debated.  I gave in.  I dialed your number.  I was honestly surprised when you answered.  I explained my night, and said I was suddenly free.  Were you interested in meeting me out for a drink?  I think you would have jumped through the phone if it were possible.  You recommended a nice, fairly expensive bar.  I countered with a sports bar-more my style.  30 minutes later I was sitting at said bar, waiting for you.

A few minutes later you walked in.  Over 6 feet, brown hair, brown eyes, glasses.  Fit body, the kind you can’t wait to hold against your own.  I smiled and waved you over.  A big silly grin spread across your face.  You walked over and I stood and gave you a hug.  I was right-a nice strong body.  Damn.

We talked for quite a few hours.  Giggling, flirting.  I finally called an end to the night.  You walked me out to my car and leaned in for a kiss.  Alarms were going off in my head, but I allowed it to happen.  And it made me melt.

What followed was what can be explained as a torrid affair.  I became a mistress, the other woman.  I got caught up in the excitement, the passion.  What made it feel so right was what made it so wrong.  Certain images still flash through my mind…

Your hands entwined in my hair.  Your lips on my breast.  Your irresistable half-smile.  My hands on your biceps, your chest.  Your breath on my neck.  The naughty words you would use.  Your hands on my hips, the small of my back.  The kisses on my forehead.  Your dominating nature in bed, setting the tone.  Sweat-glistened bodies.  It was, quite literally, something I have read about in a smut-encrusted romance novel.

Our affair came to an end when I had to move.  You came over and helped me pack, all the while not talking.  After my car was filled with boxes, and I was ready to drive away, you took me into your arms and buried your face in my hair.  I’m going to miss you, you whispered.  I know, I replied.

One last kiss, then I drove away.

Love, Esme

Damn ‘Know It All’s

7 Jul

Dear Mr. Know it All,

I really thought you knew me.  I thought you even cared about me.  It turns out that I was blinded by your charm.  I never expected my boyfriends to buy me fancy gifts or take me out to the nicest restaurants because I can provide myself with those things.  I only wanted the simplest things in the world like for you to sing me a song or to call me if you were going to be late but you thought you knew everything and you always had an excuse ready when it came to interrogation time.

Did you think that I was stupid or that I would let your behavior continue?  I know that men are far from perfect but you have no idea who I am and there is no point in pretending that you do.  When I tell you that I want to eat pizza on our anniversary, it doesn’t mean that I want to eat chicken.  When I tell you that I want to go to see a play it doesn’t mean I want to see a movie.  You thought you knew everything when I told you what I wanted and you completely ignored me.

I’ve done my best to fit my schedule around you and send you cute messages throughout the day without smothering you.  I even encouraged you to get out and see your friends.  But never in one day that we were together did you ever accommodate me and my needs.  What woman in their right mind would stick around?  I know I sure wasn’t.  Then again I guess our relationship never really mattered to you that much since when I did break up here’s what happened with a word play by play:

Me: I really wanted things to work out between us but every time I tried to communicate my desires to you, you just seemed that they really weren’t that important.

You: Well…I didn’t want what you wanted so there wasn’t really that much to do.

Me: Soooooo our relationship is based on you doing what you want, regardless of what I want. No compromising.

You: Yeah basically.

Me: [Click]

So, it wasn’t my finest moment, but I never got a phone call back, or text, or email.  Apparently he’s not missing much and neither am I.  The next time you think you know a woman, you should think again especially if you want to keep her next time around.

Love, Alley Dating

New Author=New Letters!

7 Jul

Dear Readers,

Once again I have to apologize for my recent lack of posts.  Due to some family issues, I had to pack up and move to a different state (yet again).  This time, however, it is for a great reason.  I am going to be helping my grandfather.  My grandmother passed away several years ago, and he has really headed downhill following her death.  While my move is benefits him, it also benefits me.  I get to hear stories of him courting my grandmother, stories of true love and the way it is supposed to be.  Hear stories of how he swept her off her feet, and how he won her over.  Stories of the great times, and the times they struggled-and even though there were some rough times, they still stood side by side and weathered the storm together.  I smile when I recall some of the tales.

Even through all of the nuttiness lately, I still have had some amazingly interesting dates.  And-drumroll please-not only do you get to read my letters, you get to read another’s as well!  Makes me realize there are more wierdos than I originally thought…

Alley has had some interesting experiences, and has been wonderful enough to share!  I am excited to read about what she has been through, and what she has learned in the process.  If I get nothing else out of all of this dating, it’s that there is always something to learn about the opposite sex…and yourself.


Love, Esme