Tag Archives: issues

I Womaned Up…

14 Jul

Loverboy and I finally had the convo I have been dreading…the convo about his daughter.

I finally told him that I have become increasingly uncomfortable when she is home, and that is why I have left on several occasions.  I told him that I am tired of cleaning up after her-and I don’t even live there.  I told him that I have a problem with the comments, and the outright disrespect she shows in my presence.  I also told him that I will continue to make myself scarce when she is home, because I don’t want to be the cause of any of their problems.

L told me that he knows his daughter is a major loser (how sad is that when you say that about your own kid?  But it is true).  He said that he doesn’t think she has hostility toward me, but the situation of him dating after being single for so long.  He also said that she will always be welcome in his home-no matter what.

I expected that last line, and was prepared for it.  I would never expect someone to give up their child for a relationship.

L reiterated that he feels Daughter would be acting like this anyways-no matter who he dated.  He then told me that I am also always welcome in his home, and he will never ask me to leave just because Daughter is angry or upset.

So basically what I got from the conversation is this-absolutely nothing.

I don’t expect him to choose sides-I am sure I would lose.  I don’t expect him to kick her out, even though I really think she needs to learn a life lesson.  So what did I expect?  I am not sure.  A promise that he would talk to her about her behavior?  That would have been a start.

I often try to think about mine and L’s future…and I can’t get past next year.  I believe we will never be able to move forward until he gets the daughter situation handled.  Her behavior, her disrespect, her partying and drinking, her complete lack of direction, plans, and future.  

We won’t move in together if she is there-I don’t want that around me or my kids.  We won’t continue to have a good relationship if I am always concerned about how my presence affects their relationship.  L has asked me to please put differences aside and find a way to get along.  I don’t think we have differences, just one bad attitude I’ve attempted to get along with.

I just don’t know what to do from here.  I love him, so very much.  I love his other children.  I love US.  But how long can this continue?

Love, Esme