Tag Archives: Jayden

Need To Release Aggression!!

3 May

I had a great Saturday night…Jadyn, Jake, and Kacie came over to kick off my birthday month.  Jadyn and I regaled Jake with stories from high school (Kacie was not yet there).  He truly realized that my friends and I were a bunch of goody two-shoes back then.  I tell people, but they never believe me.  Sigh.  When did I become so untrustworthy? *wink*

Sunday…not so good.  In fact it was down right fucking horrible.  I felt like I was a little out-of-control.  Monday, same thing.  But by Monday afternoon, things were a little better.  Today I kept low-key, and tomorrow Jake and I are going to go tear it up at a baseball game.  I am getting this birthday month back on track…bitches…

As I said above, Sunday was bad-understatement-Sunday was out of fucking control.  I have something going on in my life right now that shouldn’t be an issue…which is what makes it worse.  And the fallout from this event could, in fact, turn to violence.  None, absolutely NONE, of this is anything I started.  I am tired of being a fucking punching bag to a particular person.  I have decided to be pro-active instead of reactive.  And this particular person in fucking pissed.  Tough shit cock-bag.

Since this particular person has a history of being violent, I am being careful.  But still proactive.  So late Sunday night I pick up the phone and called my Navy SEAL friend.  SEAL, I said.  You know how we are going shooting on Friday?  Well…can we add a self-defense lesson as well?  He asked me what was up, and I gave him a quick rundown of the days events.  I told him that I did indeed have a fear of being attacked, and it has been two years since my last self-defense lesson.  On Monday SEAL called me with an update-We will hook you up, babe.  A couple of us will help you out.

As I write this, I hope that meant a self-defense lesson…

I am really looking forward to Friday.  I have a two-hour range time.  I am getting, what I am sure is tantamount to, a hand to hand combat lesson.  I am going to be physically exhausted, sore and bruised.  And I can’t wait.

Love, Esme


Back To Dating

9 Feb

I have been talking to a couple of guys online, and one is coming to fruition.  I started talking to this particular guy before I left for Las Vegas, and we continued to stay in contact throughout my trip.  He finally asked me out for this Wednesday.  As in today.  (insert negative noise here).  Wednesday is girls night hookers!!  I have to go meet my girls Jadyn and Alexia.  So no, Wednesday just won’t work.  I told him it had to be Friday, and he was down.  So Friday it is.

I am actually a little excited to meet this guy.  He lives on his own (BONUS), he has a job he loves (BONUS), and he has already been through therapy.  WHHHAAAATTTT??? Yes, I love a man who is man enough to say to himself ‘I have had some shit go down, and I need some goddamned help’.  I think it puts less drama on the relationship, if a relationship does indeed persist.  I tried to get my ex to go through therapy, and he repeatedly told me it was a ‘pussy move’.  Look at the pot calling the kettle black…

Anyways, I am a little excited.  I am not necessarily happy with meeting on a Friday night, but I don’t get the ‘I’m just down to fuck’ vibe from him.  We all know, however, that dudes can hide this shit pretty well.  He picked the meeting place (OH MY GOD you mean I didn’t have to do that for fucking once??  UH-MAY-ZING!!  He may just be a keeper already!) that is halfway between our respective places.  So far he seems…caring.  And understanding.  And just plain nice.  Stay tuned for this shit…because he will either be a serial killer, or I will fuck this shit up.  Hey, at least I am honest 😉

Stay tuned!

Much love, Esme