Tag Archives: Irish-man

Where Are They Now?

22 Jan

My hellish work-week is finally coming to a close.  I had every intention of going out and getting my groove on tonight, but I am just fucking exhausted. And I don’t want to spend the energy it would take to do it. So I am spending the night with you hookers instead.  You’re welcome.

Carmen brought up doing a Where Are They Now post, which I think is such a great idea.  Now that I am much more removed from the craziness of some of these guys, even I am interested in seeing where this goes.  So let’s just dive in to the shallow end, shall we??

Ambulance Guy-We both were going through a divorce when we connected.  Never did I think it would be anything but sex, and it never was.  He has since reconciled with his wife (for the sake of the kids) and is still miserable.  Stupid shit…

Perfect-This was a whole sordid story…One which you can read about by clicking on his tag.  In short…we met, we dated.  We broke up because he went back to his ex-wife.  He left his ex-wife, and I was stupid enough to take him back.  We dated/fucked…and one day he called me a lying whore.  OVER.  I have no idea what he is doing now, and I just plain don’t give a fuck.

Mr. Hottie-I’ve written about him A LOT.  We had such a great relationship.  But not really a relationship, because I was not ready for a label.  I fucked that up…or so I thought.  He is since engaged, and has not been faithful to his fiancée.  Did we work for so long because we didn’t have a label?  Maybe…no stress…no worries.  Was I the one that got away?  Also maybe.  But he has a reputation for being a playboy, and I wasn’t willing to take that chance with my heart.  Plus…I run when feelings are mentioned…probably thanks to Perfect.  Ass-hat.  Every once in a while I get a text asking me for ‘a drink’, which was our ‘let’s fuck’ code.  And no hookers…I have not done it…goddamnit.

The Doctor-I was really liking this guy.  Truly.  But he got so fucking clingy.  When I was sick with meningitis, he got angry that I wasn’t calling him everyday.  Seriously???  DONE.  I don’t even communicate with him anymore.  I feel sorry for his next girlfriend.

Firefighter not worth mentioning-married with a kid.  Good for him.

New Guy-I don’t keep in touch with him.  Right after he dumped me for being a firefighter, he started dating his best girl friend.  He was a pussy…who doesn’t like a girl in uniform??  Especially one that can carry a dude up the stairs to the bedroom???

Sexy-He tried keeping in contact with me, but I just couldn’t.  It hurt too much.  Left for an ex-wife again.

Irish-man-I haven’t heard from him since I asked him if he was married.  So that tells me yes, indeed he was.  Dick.

Nice Guy-I would consider him my best guy friend.  I heart him.  I would do anything for him.  He hurts, I hurt.  He’s happy, I’m happy.  I am so glad he is in my life!

Ex-BF-Has issues with feelings, as do I.  Bad mix.  He freaked.  His loss.  He will always have problems with this.  I haven’t seen him since I wrote about him last.  Too bad people just can’t have sex…

The last guy I never gave a name to-Never heard from him again.  Both our losses…the sex was GREAT.  Why do men do that??

God, no fucking wonder I have committment issues!  Left for ex-wives, left because I am a firefighter…I really find some pussy-ass men…I just don’t want to get hurt anymore!  I bet I run away from the best guy ever…just watch…

Love, Esme


Right Back At Ya, Simmarah!

7 Jan

So that sassy dame, Simmarah, and I, decided to blog about the guys we have slept with.  Why?  Who the fuck knows…and cares.  All we know is it could be really interesting.  So here it is…the lucky guys on my list.  Oh, and apparently we rated!  Take that, fuckers.  Drumroll please!!!

1.  My ex-husband…the one who never gave me an orgasm. 0/10

2.  Ambulance Guy…Ahh, what memories.  Looking back, not all that great, but exactly what I needed to awaken the desires.  4/10

3.  Perfect…looking back, what a stupid fucking nickname for him.  But, at the time I thought he was fucking phenomenal.  Ummm…no.  Only good thing was he could go for hours. 5/10

4.  Mr. Hottie…to this DAY I still look back on Mr. Hottie and think he may be the best damn lay I have ever had.  Not because of mechanics or know-how, but because he was so damn into my body. And it just shined through.  10/10

5.  The Doctor…looking back, meh.  Just not much to say about it.  5/10

6.  Another firefighter not worth mentioning.  2/10

7.  New Guy…it was so vanilla, I almost forgot about it.  3/10

8.  Sexy…Awesome.  It was awesome.  Too bad his personality wasn’t.  9/10

9.  Irish-man…it was good, but I still maintain I think he is married.  Too bad…fucker.  7/10

10.  Nice Guy…so we finally did it, and it was well worth the wait.  Didn’t rate quite as high as one other, but damn it sure was close!  The man knows his way around a woman.  9.5/10

11.  Ex-BF…also excellent.  He was also a great fucking time.  Too bad he had to go and be a dick.  *sigh* Men and their drama.  9/10.

As a disclaimer…I wish my list were longer.  WHAT?!?! You heard me right.  I wish I was a bigger skank.  I was the good girl who didn’t sleep with anyone else until she met her husband.  I was even in a sorority in college!  I had every fucking opportunity!!  I wish I were a whore in college!!!!! But I was all for maintaining my good girl image.  Fuck that shit.  Once I was free to start seeing people again, I did.  With a vengeance.  And without much prejudice, apparently.  However, I am making up for lost time.  AND, I am still working on it, thankyouverymuch.

Anyone else want to join in on this?  Reminiscing can be such fun…I dare you…

Much love, Esme


In Your Dreams

6 Nov

Text message from Irish-man:

Sorry Thursday didn’t work out for me.  Really like to connect with you tonight.

No response from me.  Suck it.


I Guess Not To Irish

4 Nov

Irish-man ended up brushing me off.  Fuck that.  We had planned to meet up in the evening, then an hour prior I got a text message.  He decided to go to happy hour with some guys from work instead.  Guys from work vs. drinks with a hot girl who was a sure thing…hmmm…

Then he actually had the audacity to write: Stay hot for me-we will reschedule.

In your fucking dreams you damned moron.  You don’t break a date with me and then get a second chance.  Hope happy hour was worth it.


To Irish, Or Not To Irish…

2 Nov

…that is the question..

About a week and a half ago, Irish-man started contacting me again.  It’s safe to say we were never really out of contact, but you could say it has been more of a constant contact as of late.

Irish-man wants to see me again.  And I am very inclined to let it happen!  If you remember, we met one day at a restaurant, had a date, then had some mind-blowing sex.  I mean like holy FUCK sex.  The kind you will ditch work for, blow plans for, lie for, beg-borrow-steal for.  The kind where you are physically incapable of uttering a fucking word for 30 minutes afterwards…you get the idea.  The kind of sex you just don’t turn your back on.

We haven’t seen each other since that episode of Nirvana because I became sick, then he had a business trip, then I went on vacation, then he had another business trip…basically life fucking happened.  Today, I get a text message asking me what I am doing tomorrow around noon.  An electric shocked coursed through my body, a smile played on my lips.  I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and replayed our last time together.

I absolutely NEVER see this going anywhere.  I never see me bringing him home, introducing him to family.  I never want to meet his.  I honestly don’t know if I ever want to meet his friends, and he will probably never know mine exist.  I like the idea of keeping him as my little secret…to use when I need, and to toss aside when I don’t.  I haven’t had a great fuck-buddy since Mr. Hottie, and its high time I replace him!  Plus, a girl’s gotta have a way to release all of her stress…and a man with some great skills is a phenomenal place to start…I, of course, will keep you updated.


Much love, Esme

This Could Get Interesting…

12 Oct

I’m not even sure who to address this letter to, so I will just write.

I have been recovering from being sick, spending a lot of time on my mom’s couch-and a lot of time at the doctor’s office.  As I have been feeling better, I have been trying to get my life back in order.  I have been getting back in contact with friends, old boyfriends, and boys I was supposed to date.  Here is a lowdown…

Irish-man has been in contact with me again.  He initiated contact this time, which really surprised me.  I think I may just see him again…but it may just all depend…

Doctor has thrown marriage on the table.  This didn’t surprise me, but the timing did.  Like I am thinking marriage?  And he wants a committment.  He is ‘willing to wait, no matter how long’, but he wants me to ‘be his girl’.  I’m sorry…I do have super strong feelings for him…probably love…but I am not about to give up viable dating years for someone 3200 miles away when I have no idea when or if I am going to move back to Old State.  Would I?  Possibly.  Will I?  Not sure.  An honest moment here…I can see Doctor and I working.  I really can.  I just don’t want that right now.  We still talk once a week, and he still tells me he will wait for me.  So only time will tell.

Now about Nice Guy…hmmm…where do I begin???  Nice Guy and I still communicate once a day.  More than once a day. Usually by phone, with conversations that last on average 3 hours.  If we don’t talk, we email 10-20 times a day.  Even if we talk we still e-mail. We had that great trip to Vegas.  We have deep conversations, lots of laughs, and a phenomenal friendship.  He has seen me through a horrible illness, fears of auto-immune diseases, and bouts of psychosis brought on by large amounts of narcotics (prescribed, of course!).  He has been, in all respects, the best friend I could have ever asked for.

Nice Guy has had one date, a highly unsuccessful one, since he has broken up with me.  I have a secret belief that, for him, I am the ‘one that got away’.  And-you will never read this here again-I believe that out of all the guys I have dated thus far he is THE ONE.  Got it?  Now forget it.  Because I also believe we will never be together.

If you remember, we never consummated our relationship.  As in we never had sex.  Not while we were dating.  Not while we were in Vegas drunk out of our minds while we both needed a great *ahem* time.  In fact, Nice Guy has not gotten dirty and done the deed in almost a year because he is a genuine NICE GUY.  He needs an emotional attachment to get down and dirty.  Quite the opposite of me, I would say…

So why am I telling you all of this?  Here is why.  Last week I had a particularly bad week.  He sent me an e-mail asking me if I wanted to come visit (remember he lives in a different state).  He wrote that he has well over 200,000 miles and would like to bring me up for a long weekend.  This Thursday to Tuesday.  Change of scenery, change of pace.  My response?  Hell yeah I would love to come for a visit!  Ever since he has made the plans, our conversations have been focused around my visit.  He has made plans at a really nice hotel at a really nice place in a really nice town for two nights.  He is taking me out to an expensive dinner.  Then today he told me he has really been missing the intimacy we have shared.  Remember, we’ve had no sex.  Nothing even remotely close.  Just kissing and a lot of cuddling.  I said I have missed that as well.  And I truly have.  With him more than anyone else.  I just feel so damn safe when I am in his arms.  When you are a victim of domestic violence, feeling safe is such an amazing feeling.  THEN he said: ‘You know how I have to feel really comfortable with someone before I have sex with them?’  I laughed, and asked him if he was finally going to give me what I want.  His response caught me off guard.  ‘I’m just not ruling anything out this weekend, as long as it is OK.  I really miss you.  I am so excited to see you.  I can’t wait two more damn days.  Get your ass on that damn plane!!’  I responded by telling him I can’t wait to see him, and I can’t wait to see what the weekend holds for us.

Since I found out I was going to see him, I have been as giddy as a school girl.  I have been afraid to let my excitement show, worried it wasn’t reciprocated.  Now I know it is.  I still don’t believe we will wind up together.  I still don’t believe we even belong together. But I know feelings are there for the both of us, whatever they may be.  I’m not worried about what may happen, or if anything may happen.  I am just going to enjoy the time I do have with him, as it is all there may be.

Love, Esme

One Day Closer

28 Jul

Dear Men In The Mix,

Ticket to Las Vegas?  Check.  Confirmation e-mail from you outlining super-nice room with one king-sized bed?  Check.  Daily e-mails on how you can’t wait?  Check.  Another month wondering What-The-Hell-Is-Going-To-Happen-On-This-Trip feelings?  Double check.  But at least I found the most awesome pink snake-skin stilettos, so I will look phenomenal no matter what happens!

Ticket to Old State?  Check.  A whole 24-hour block of time with you?  Check.  Old feelings coming to the surface?  Check.  Repeated e-mails, text messages and phone calls telling me of your excitement?  Very much so check.  May have to reuse the stilettos…

Text message from you telling me how much fun you had on our date?  Check.  One check…easy.  With the other things I have in the mix, easy is good…

Love, Esme