Tag Archives: Betty Crocker Man


29 Mar

I had to share this with you all. It goes to show how much of an inflated ego some men have.

BCM sent me some text messages yesterday. One of them, I just HAD to answer.

B: I’m sorry I had to break your heart.
E: No heartbreak here.
B: But I told you we can only be friends…nothing more.
E: Got it, thanks. No heartbreak.
B: I’m just in a bad place.
E: I know, your life sucks. All good over here. Thanks for playing.

Seriously? Who are you trying to convince here? Not me…I don’t look back on the asshats. I barely look back on the good. Have a superb life duchero.

Love, Esme


BCM-Exit Stage Left

27 Mar

Against my better judgement, I saw BCM today. And I never should have.

Never, since my ex-husband, has anyone made me feel so crappy and unwanted. He was very cold to me. Shying away from my touch, not looking at me, barely talking to me.

Hello fuckstick, you invited me here today. What the fuck is your deal??

He finally told me he is in a bad place, and he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. Ummm…did I ever fucking talk about wanting a serious relationship?? No, no I did not. I pointed this out to him, and he said we can be friends, but it will never be more then that. This was, of course, after he told me of my numerous faults, and after he told me about numerous sexual conquests. So I left. Fuck that, I don’t needed to hear about my faults, and the reason why I won’t ever find a boyfriend. Fuck you asshat. I’m fucking fabulous, and anyone would be lucky to have this.

Due to some circumstances and future plans, I will see him a few times the next month or two. He texted me and asked me if we were ok. I only answered with ‘honestly, you made me feel horrible and incredibly unwanted today’. He just wrote back that he was in a bad place.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I am going through a shitty time I like having my friends around. I don’t treat them like shit.

Much love, Esme

Oh, and just a nice little point here…he told me once we fooled around he lost interest in me. So he is one of THOSE guys. And he didn’t even get to experience the joy of sleeping with me. I have never been so happy to not sleep with someone…

BCM’s WTF Moment

24 Mar

OK, so we all have been watching/reading the BCM drama unfold.  What does he really mean, what is going on in his head, what the fuck does it all mean??

BCM called me this morning to complain about work…again.  Then he asked me to come spend Saturday night and all day Sunday with him.  Before I could answer, he threw this out:

About the committment thing…I’m not down with it.  I’m not willing to just sleep with one person only.  It’s just not OK.  But I would still like to see you.  And I would like to rock your world.  It makes me feel like a real man with the way you react to my touch.  But I understand if you don’t want to have sex.  I won’t be faithful if the opportunity arises.

Huh.  Is it just me, or does this guy seem to flip-flop on a regular fucking basis?  I deferred answering, saying it will depend how I feel.  He gets there will be no hanky-panky, as I will definitely not be up for it.  He tells me we can take it easy, rent some movies, and he will cook me food.  I have to say I would welcome the companionship, but I am wondering if this is smart.  I can’t figure him out.


Much love, Esme

***I never asked for a committment, but I did say that next time I sleep with someone, I hope he will be the only one I sleep with for a while.  Apparently that means I want to get married??  Can’t figure it out…

This Just Takes Too Much Thought!

14 Mar

BCM really does take too much thought.  I went down and stayed with him a recent night.  We went out, he introduced me to people, we had a lot of fun.  The next morning we were getting hot and heavy…when he got up and took a shower.  THE END.

What.  The.  Fuck.  I just stayed where I was at, and stewed a little bit.  When he was done with his shower and out of the room, I got up, got myself dressed, and got ready to leave.  BCM walked back into the room and said ‘You are mad’.  No, I replied, not mad.  Frustrated, hurt, incredibly pissed, but not mad.

Esme, he said, you drive me crazy.  I really really want to have sex with you.  I was about to do things to you that may not have been OK.  I had to get up and cool off.  (I just stared at him through all of this).  Listen, he said, you are leaving town to go visit friends for a week out-of-state.  Let’s get together after that, OK?  Let’s just wait and pick it up then.

BCM, that is the girliest thing I have ever heard a dude say.

I know.  But it feels right.

I sighed, because what else am I supposed to do, fucking jump him?  He walked me to my car and gave me a kiss goodbye.  So whatever.  It has to be easier than this to get laid.

Anyways! Last night I went out with Jake and some of his friends for his birthday.  I had an absolute blast.  We saw someone famous at the restaurant we went to (go us).  We checked out hot guys.  We went to the gayest Irish pub EVER.  I laughed more than I had in a long while.  I needed it.  And when I told Jake about BCM, he told me I am way too awesome to sit and wait for a man.  Awww…

So with that, I am headed out-of-state for a week.  It is already shaping up to be an interesting visit.  Case in point…Mr. Hottie texted me.  Hey, heard you’re coming to town.  We need to get together for that drink. Damn.  Damn damn damn damn FUCK!  The one I can’t turn down!  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.  I am fighting this one with all I’ve got.  This is just bad juju. Stupid fire service…news travels faster than in Payton’s Place. Telephone, tell a friend, tell a fireman.

So with that I am off to pack.  I will of course update you all during my vacation!

Love, Esme



11 Mar

Betty Crocker Man (BCM) (Thanks for the name, Carmen!):  So I guess I should let you know that I am unattached.

Me:  Uumm, what?

BCM:  Unattached.  Like I am not dating anyone else.  As in I am not having sex with anyone else.  As in there is no one else in my life.

Me:  Oh-kay…

BCM:  I just wanted you to know.  Just thought you should know.

Me:  Awesome.  Thanks for the update.

I have no idea what to do with this information…

Love, Esme