Tag Archives: Ex-BF

The Benefit Of Younger Men

15 Jun

I have spent a lot of my brain power thinking about this.  Why?  I have no fucking clue.  I truly don’t.  And it all started pretty innocently.

My gal Sunday pointed out to me a recently that I really seem to be attracted to younger men.  I told her that was erroneous (great movie) and asked her to point out the proof.

Sunday:  Really?  I really have to freaking do this?  Oh-kay…AG, 24-year old Firefighter, EX-BF, 29 year-old Firefighter, Mr. Hottie, Fighter, Jake, New Guy, Perfect, the last one-night stand you had.  Almost every guy you flirt with.  Need I say more?  Heeeeellllllllloooooooo…Medic??

Shit.  She was right.  I do have a thing for younger guys.  The few I dated that were older, didn’t look as old as they were.  Why, OH WHY, do I tend to go after the younger men?

Theory on this one, bear with me.

Guys in their mid-thirties (eek…am I almost that old?) are just so…drama filled.  They have been married.  They have been divorced.  They have kids.  They have baby-mama drama.  They probably did something wrong so their wives had to leave them.  They don’t take care of themselves very well.  They usually don’t exercise.  They don’t dress as nice.  They don’t care much about their looks.  They seem to have forgotten how to treat a lady.  Do I need to go on?  And before some guys e-mail or comment, this has just been my experience.  And it’s my blog.  Don’t like it??  Start your own.

I take care of myself.  I exercise (mostly).  I look in the mirror before I leave the house.  I take a care when I pick out my clothes (unless it’s Girls Night).  I work very hard to keep drama out of my life, or at least away from my dates.  I don’t bring my kids into relationships.  I don’t tell stories of my divorce, or sing about the heartache of what I have been through.  That takes too much damn ENERGY.

Younger men are the opposite of men my age.  Almost exactly.  They also realize how lucky they are to date someone like me, and go out of their way to prove it.  Over and over again.  (And let’s not forget the added benefit of stamina, and they fact they are more willing to take the time in bed.  Oooh yes.)  I also find that these guys are more willing to go out and do things, not just sit at home and watch TV.

In short, they act more like me.  More of what I am looking for.  Active.  Fun-loving.  Go with the flow.

I think like-minded individuals are drawn to each other.  Should age really be an issue?

Love, Esme


Where Are They Now?

22 Jan

My hellish work-week is finally coming to a close.  I had every intention of going out and getting my groove on tonight, but I am just fucking exhausted. And I don’t want to spend the energy it would take to do it. So I am spending the night with you hookers instead.  You’re welcome.

Carmen brought up doing a Where Are They Now post, which I think is such a great idea.  Now that I am much more removed from the craziness of some of these guys, even I am interested in seeing where this goes.  So let’s just dive in to the shallow end, shall we??

Ambulance Guy-We both were going through a divorce when we connected.  Never did I think it would be anything but sex, and it never was.  He has since reconciled with his wife (for the sake of the kids) and is still miserable.  Stupid shit…

Perfect-This was a whole sordid story…One which you can read about by clicking on his tag.  In short…we met, we dated.  We broke up because he went back to his ex-wife.  He left his ex-wife, and I was stupid enough to take him back.  We dated/fucked…and one day he called me a lying whore.  OVER.  I have no idea what he is doing now, and I just plain don’t give a fuck.

Mr. Hottie-I’ve written about him A LOT.  We had such a great relationship.  But not really a relationship, because I was not ready for a label.  I fucked that up…or so I thought.  He is since engaged, and has not been faithful to his fiancée.  Did we work for so long because we didn’t have a label?  Maybe…no stress…no worries.  Was I the one that got away?  Also maybe.  But he has a reputation for being a playboy, and I wasn’t willing to take that chance with my heart.  Plus…I run when feelings are mentioned…probably thanks to Perfect.  Ass-hat.  Every once in a while I get a text asking me for ‘a drink’, which was our ‘let’s fuck’ code.  And no hookers…I have not done it…goddamnit.

The Doctor-I was really liking this guy.  Truly.  But he got so fucking clingy.  When I was sick with meningitis, he got angry that I wasn’t calling him everyday.  Seriously???  DONE.  I don’t even communicate with him anymore.  I feel sorry for his next girlfriend.

Firefighter not worth mentioning-married with a kid.  Good for him.

New Guy-I don’t keep in touch with him.  Right after he dumped me for being a firefighter, he started dating his best girl friend.  He was a pussy…who doesn’t like a girl in uniform??  Especially one that can carry a dude up the stairs to the bedroom???

Sexy-He tried keeping in contact with me, but I just couldn’t.  It hurt too much.  Left for an ex-wife again.

Irish-man-I haven’t heard from him since I asked him if he was married.  So that tells me yes, indeed he was.  Dick.

Nice Guy-I would consider him my best guy friend.  I heart him.  I would do anything for him.  He hurts, I hurt.  He’s happy, I’m happy.  I am so glad he is in my life!

Ex-BF-Has issues with feelings, as do I.  Bad mix.  He freaked.  His loss.  He will always have problems with this.  I haven’t seen him since I wrote about him last.  Too bad people just can’t have sex…

The last guy I never gave a name to-Never heard from him again.  Both our losses…the sex was GREAT.  Why do men do that??

God, no fucking wonder I have committment issues!  Left for ex-wives, left because I am a firefighter…I really find some pussy-ass men…I just don’t want to get hurt anymore!  I bet I run away from the best guy ever…just watch…

Love, Esme

Right Back At Ya, Simmarah!

7 Jan

So that sassy dame, Simmarah, and I, decided to blog about the guys we have slept with.  Why?  Who the fuck knows…and cares.  All we know is it could be really interesting.  So here it is…the lucky guys on my list.  Oh, and apparently we rated!  Take that, fuckers.  Drumroll please!!!

1.  My ex-husband…the one who never gave me an orgasm. 0/10

2.  Ambulance Guy…Ahh, what memories.  Looking back, not all that great, but exactly what I needed to awaken the desires.  4/10

3.  Perfect…looking back, what a stupid fucking nickname for him.  But, at the time I thought he was fucking phenomenal.  Ummm…no.  Only good thing was he could go for hours. 5/10

4.  Mr. Hottie…to this DAY I still look back on Mr. Hottie and think he may be the best damn lay I have ever had.  Not because of mechanics or know-how, but because he was so damn into my body. And it just shined through.  10/10

5.  The Doctor…looking back, meh.  Just not much to say about it.  5/10

6.  Another firefighter not worth mentioning.  2/10

7.  New Guy…it was so vanilla, I almost forgot about it.  3/10

8.  Sexy…Awesome.  It was awesome.  Too bad his personality wasn’t.  9/10

9.  Irish-man…it was good, but I still maintain I think he is married.  Too bad…fucker.  7/10

10.  Nice Guy…so we finally did it, and it was well worth the wait.  Didn’t rate quite as high as one other, but damn it sure was close!  The man knows his way around a woman.  9.5/10

11.  Ex-BF…also excellent.  He was also a great fucking time.  Too bad he had to go and be a dick.  *sigh* Men and their drama.  9/10.

As a disclaimer…I wish my list were longer.  WHAT?!?! You heard me right.  I wish I was a bigger skank.  I was the good girl who didn’t sleep with anyone else until she met her husband.  I was even in a sorority in college!  I had every fucking opportunity!!  I wish I were a whore in college!!!!! But I was all for maintaining my good girl image.  Fuck that shit.  Once I was free to start seeing people again, I did.  With a vengeance.  And without much prejudice, apparently.  However, I am making up for lost time.  AND, I am still working on it, thankyouverymuch.

Anyone else want to join in on this?  Reminiscing can be such fun…I dare you…

Much love, Esme


Starting The New Year Off Right

4 Jan

I am so freaking pissy right now…my computer is on the fritz!  I am using a friend’s laptop right now, so this will be short and sweet…

I haven’t seen Dude again…yet.  Our schedules aren’t working out too well!  But the promise-and hope-is there.  I, of course, will keep all of you skanks updated on my sex life, as it is what I do 😉  I am still appreciating Dude’s honesty.  It is such a fucking turn-on.  Especially when he is honest in that sexy accent of his…good lord…

I may, or may not, have another date tonight.  This guy has proven to be pretty damn flaky so far, and we all know that Esme just has no tolerance for this shit.  Either shit or get off the pot.  Seriously.

Ex-BF is trying to make another entrance.  DENIED.

And there is one more…not sure where it is going, if anywhere…but stay tuned.  Not much to write about yet!

Much Love, Esme

Rambling Thoughts On The Last Few Days…

29 Dec

I apologize in advance…this just may be a long, rambling post!  Fucking men…

I finally heard from Ex-BF.  And it was like nothing was said, nothing had transpired.  How fucking typical!  I just told him I never mentioned feelings, and if he had feelings for me he needed to figure that out.  He repeated there are no feelings, because he doesn’t do feelings.  I ended the convo at that point, because it was just fucking useless to go around and around.  I hope he finds whatever he is looking for.  I was all for a fuck buddy thing, and I told him as such.  If he gets his shit together, and he figures out what his deal is, maybe. But I can’t deal with this.  It gives me a damn headache…

So after this, I have realized that as much as I enjoy having the consistency of a fuck buddy, and being able to get up and leave afterwards, I think I miss having a relationship.  Bllllaaaaaaahhhhh!!!  Say it ain’t so!!  Yes, I am a fuck-tard…I miss the stability.  But not to worry hookers, I am not leaving…all that means is this bitch is about to start dating again…

We all know my track record with dating.  Fuck, that’s how this blog was created.  It’s not good…and it’s definitely not easy!  So what is a sassy girl with lots of moxie to do?  Fire back up the Internet dating site.  Let friends set me up again (although I swear on all that is FUCKING holy if any of those ass-hats tries to date-rape me again, he will never be able to procreate).  I turned it back on today, and already have several offers.  One of which looks promising.  I, of course, will blog all about it 😉

Ok, so now my next question.  I am in my early 30’s.  Let’s just go with that.  The other day I got hit on by someone who was 24.  Fucking 24!!  I couldn’t even be flattered because I was kind of disgusted.  I have dated younger guys…loyal readers will remember the few.  But what is an acceptable age range these days??  I am most curious.  You see everything!  Younger guys equal more stamina…so YAY!  But on the flip-side, I do NOT want to have to teach someone where the clit is.  Just sayin’.  However, even I have to admit that I prefer younger over much older.  I CAN NOT see someone who is more than 5 years older than me.  I am so fucking weird…which means this is going to be oh so interesting…

Much love, Esme


This Either Got Messy…Or Ended

26 Dec

First off, Merry belated Christmas to all of my girls out there!  I hope it indeed was a merry fucking Christmas, and you were surrounded by family and friends.  And I hope you made many wonderful memories.

Alright, back on track here hookers…if you remember, I mentioned that Ex-BF gave me three tickets to a hockey game, and also invited himself to go along.  We went.  It was fun/interesting.  Let me elaborate.

He drove, which was cool, and got us there in plenty of time to look around, which my kids loved. Before we sat down, we stood in line and got some grub.  I ordered basically a whole dinner for my kids, knowing full well it was going to be ass-expensive, and being perfectly content paying for it.  While I was handing said food to my children, he paid for the whole damn meal, and even bought us drinks.  I kept trying to give him money to cover my share, and he wouldn’t accept it.  I said thank you, but felt a little uncomfortable.  Not sure why, I just did.

Throughout the game, Ex-BF would leave and come back with food or drinks.  Very uncharacteristic for him, not usually so generous.  I always thanked him-told him he didn’t have to do it, etc.  He always said ‘I know’.  Now…I was baffled.

Why the hell is he being so nice???  No no no…none of this rule-changing again…no mind-fucking here!!!  Go back to the way it was!!!!  This is bad…

By the end of the game I think he realized what he was doing, and what vibes he was throwing off.  He became very quiet, didn’t talk much, didn’t even look at me much.  During the drive home I finally asked him if he was OK, if he felt awkward, why was he so quiet?  Was it my kids?

No, Esme, you’re kids are great, they really are.  I had a great time with them.  You just need to know that I really don’t do feelings…


Haven’t heard from him since, except for a ‘Merry Christmas’ text.  So apparently he needs time to think I guess?  Who fucking knows.  What the fuck ever.  What the fuck is up with men anyways?  Granted, I can be a really really big runner when feelings get involved, but I’m not even sure we have seen each other enough?  I will say, though, that the holidays are a really tough time to try and start anything, so if he comes around, great.  If not, better I know now then after I, myself, become attached.


Love, Esme

You Can’t Play A Player…

20 Dec

I have learned oh so much about Ex-BF, and all I had to do was yell his name out at the local dive bar.  No shit.  Once I did, 3 other women piped up with stories that happened to them, or women they know.  Apparently Ex-BF likes to play around.  He has ‘Flavors Of The Week’…uses and abuses…tosses to the side…then moves on.  This has been going on for a number of years.  Hmmm…sounds to me like he is running from something, or looking for something…

So now I know the game.  And I despise games.  With such a heartfelt passion my ancestors can probably feel it.  But let’s take a second and be fair before I continue on with the story and go over facts.  Fact one-he introduced me to friends.  Usually a good thing, however this myth was dispelled when someone at said bar stated he has a habit of doing this with his ‘flavors’.  Fact two-we have dated in the past, and have a history.  It could count for something.  Fact three-he chased me for quite some time, and just in recent time did I say yes.  Also could count for something.  Let’s continue with the story…

So we are at the bar and I am listening to these stories with interest, getting a good idea of the background of the guy I have seen a couple of times.  Someone then asked me my name, and I told her.  This is what I heard in response: Oh, you are the girl he is currently sleeping with.

Whhhhaaaaaaatttttt the fuuuuuuuuuuck?????

I just smiled, filed away the knowledge for future use.  Not only is this guy a total player, he also stretches the truth to make himself look more like a player…good to know…good to fucking know…

Before I continue on-a side note-Ex-BF has season tickets to a local hockey team.  He is giving me three tickets to a game next week for me and my kids to go to.  One of my children is a huge hockey fan, just like his phenomenal mama!  Anyways, when he called me the other day to let me know he had the tickets, I thanked him profusely.  He told me I could have them on one condition…that he would be able to meet me at the game (with ticket number 4).  Ummm…oohhhhkaaayyyy???? Why would he want to meet me at a hockey game with my children?  Interesting…But I am not going to say no after he just gave me free tickets.  And it’s not like we are gong to be PDA-ing in front of my kids, so what the fuck ever.  Done deal.

And back to story.  So I called him yesterday afternoon to ask him if he was home so I could pick up our tickets.  I was on the way to meet the family for our annual tree-trimming party (yes…we still do shit like that.  Don’t judge.)  I get there and walk into his house.  He walks up to me, reaches around and closes the door behind me, all the while keeping me successfully pinned against the door.  As he is leaning in for a kiss he asks if I have a few minutes to spare.  Just a few, I reply.  I am on my way to a family party.  He smiled just inches from my mouth.  My body tingled in anticipation.  Why, I asked?  He said:

I have to make an honest woman out of you.

I said:

Yeah, I heard you were a fucking liar with a big mouth.

What followed was 15 minutes of pure awesomeness.  I thought I had great sex before, but DAMN.  I can only imagine what it will be like when we have more time.  Fuck this guy has skills.

After, I got up and got dressed.  I grabbed the hockey tickets, and asked where the parking pass was.  He just looked at me.  The parking pass, I repeated.  Where is it.  He actually walked over, grabbed it, and gave it to me.  Thanks, Ex-BF, I said.  I will see you next week.  I breezed out of his house with my goods in hand with him staring after me.  I’m sure he wasn’t expecting that one.

It’s good being on a level playing field.  Don’t try to play me…I was taught by the very best 😉  Fantastic sex, no strings, free things…this could be a lot of fun…

Much love, Esme