Epic Battle #1-One For Our Record Books

7 Jun

Two or three days after Loverboy commenced the Silent Treatment-I lost count while I was insanely flashing back-I got a call from L.  It was during the day, so I knew he was at work.  Hmm…not much conversation can happen while one is working…

L: Esme, hey.

E: Hey?

L: What are you up to?

E: Nothing?

L: How have you been?

How have I been??  Are you fucking kidding me??

I unleashed.  I told him how much he has hurt me the last few days.  Explained the dark place he sent me to.  How incredibly barbaric it was of him to Silent Treatment me when he knows my past.  In turn, he told me how much he was looking forward to that night with me.  How for six months he has been talking about me non-stop to his family, and he was so excited to show them this ‘amazing woman who wanted to date’ him.

Loverboy gave me pause.  Was this argument all about that?  The fact that he just really wanted to introduce me to his family, to ‘show me off’, so to speak?  Not that that revelation excused his behavior toward me the following days, but I am friends with enough dudes to know that the introduction of someone you are in love with is a huge fucking deal.

L got choked up, and asked if I could just come over that night to talk.  I agreed, as this conversation would be way more productive in person.

After the Silent Treatment started, I had walked around my house gathering up all of his shit, including everything he had ever given me.  Sooo…it is safe to say I was fucking pissed.  I grabbed the pile off of my kitchen table, and took it with me.  Why?  I’m not sure.  To let him know I was pissed?

When I walked in the door, I plopped the pile on his kitchen table.  L just looked at me.

E: This is all your shit that was at my house, and I am tired of looking at it.

Loverboy was rendered speechless.  After a minute or two, he crossed the kitchen and took me into his arms.  After a few seconds, I hugged him back.  And we stood in silence for several long moments and just hugged.  We needed that, it calmed us down.

We were able to have a very calm, rational discussion following that hug.  He explained that he was so upset at the situation, he could feel himself taking it out on me, which he didn’t want to do.  So in his weird male-hormoned brain, not talking to me made more sense.  I explained why he can’t give me the Silent Treatment.  I gave him an alternative-please just tell me you are angry at me or at a situation, and you need to calm down before we can discuss it rationally.  He agreed to be more forthcoming about his feelings, and I accepted what he said at face value.  Can I promise to not revert when Silent Treatment is given again?  Nope.  But I did promise that if he ever gave me the Silent Treatment again, he would never have to bother calling me.  EVER again.

For a few days we had an uneasy alliance.  You know those first few days after a major blowout and everyone is walking on egg shells?  We did that.  And one day, it was just all better.

The scare seemed to change Loverboy.  He is a lot more open with his feelings, often telling me how lucky he is, how great I am, how he loves me, etc.  He is more touchy-feely in front of family (before he would barely hold my hand).  The changes have definitely been positive, and make me feel much more appreciated.

We will see how it goes.

On the This shit only happens to me front…

I met Loverboy’s new neighbors the other day.  Neighbor caught sight of my firefighter plates on my vehicle, and inquired to where I work.  I told him, and he asked me if I knew Ambulance Guy.

Are you fucking kidding me??  Ambulance Guys brother moved in next door to my boyfriend?!?

I can just see this going down…

Ex-fuck buddy?  Meet boyfriend.  Boyfriend, meet the guy I’d probably be fucking if I hadn’t met you.


Love, Esme


3 Responses to “Epic Battle #1-One For Our Record Books”

  1. Nikki B June 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    OMG I KNEW IT!!!

    I KNEW there was a bigger reason he wanted you there! And that he just gave you the silent treatment because HE knew it wasn’t your fault but he was so disappointed and upset at the situation he’d take it out on you unintentionally so he decided to just not talk to you! Ahhhhhh!!!

    I like being right.

    That said. I am glad you worked through this. I would really, really encourage you to try and take some deep breaths and think about perhaps meeting him a lil halfway. Look, i KNOW your past does not make this easy, and maybe it IS impossible – but just think of it this way: L was trying to figure how NOT to fuck up the situation more, so he did the only think he could think of – not talk at all. Not because he was intentionally giving you the silent treatment, but because he didn’t want to say the wrong thing and hurt you! I know, I know – he shouldn’t do that really but…

    I mean, this guy sounds like such a keeper, dude. I know your past but… let him in a little too. 😉

    • Esme June 15, 2012 at 9:30 am #

      I completely understand why he gave me the silent treatment, and I told him I understood why. Unfortunately, it didn’t make the situation any better for me being on the receiving end of it!

      I did tell him later that I will try not to jump into that ‘bad place’, and I WILL try. I think that is going to be way easier said than done, unfortunately.

      Since the fight, he has taken the blame for all of it. He says he had a severe lack of judgement since he was so mad and hurt. I have to remember that he and his ex NEVER communicated. As in EVER. So he is used to walking away and not talking for a few days. They wouldn’t even discuss the fight later. UGH…I can’t do that!

      It’s going to take some work on BOTH of our parts. But I am OK with that. He is a keeper 🙂

      • Nikki B June 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm #

        Yes – work on both of your parts, but that means your both making each other better people, right?? OMG I am totes smitted with this man – or rather, you and him together.

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