Update On Loverboy

29 May

Well, he’s pissed.

I finally got a hold of him last night, and he yelled at me.

He was pissed I missed the wedding.

Never mind that my babysitter fell through two hours prior, and I could find no one else.

It is all my fault.

And now, I’m pissed.

I mean, REALLY??  He has kids of his own.  He knows how this works.  SHIT HAPPENS.

What am I supposed to do with his anger?

He has been giving me the silent treatment ever since.

My ex-husband used to give me the silent treatment before he would haul off and hit me.  Does Loverboy know this?  Yes he does.  I have told him on several occasions that he, under no circumstances, can give me the silent treatment.  I makes me flash back.  It makes me cower on the floor and rock back and forth.  It makes me insane.  Literally.

I feel like if a man has any love or respect for you what-so-ever, he will not do something to you that causes these reactions.  He would take into account what you have said, how you feel, and work accordingly.  Why do I think that?  Because I would do it for the man I love.

I made sure he always felt appreciated, always felt loved, and always felt like I would be faithful.

I am so tired of giving so much of myself, to not get it in return.

But the fact of the matter is…I just don’t know what to do.

Suggestions?

Love, Esme

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3 Responses to “Update On Loverboy”

  1. Cath May 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

    You know, I spend so much time with women (and gay men), that it is easy for me to forget how limited some men can be when it comes to expressing their feelings or thinking things through when they are mad or upset. If that makes sense. The silent treatment sucks. W will do that too. He says he feels like if he says anything, it will make things worse. But being ignored? That is the worst. 😦 Hope it gets better soon.

  2. My Dating Hangovers May 29, 2012 at 11:28 pm #

    Le sigh.

    What would you like to hear? The “give him time, he’ll come around again”, the “forget that, he’s a drama queen and too emotional”, or the “you really need to think about this latest episode and ask yourself if THIS is the type of behavior you can tolerate going forward”.

    Seriously, this is a pattern and while we’re thankful to hear that he is nothing like that monster ex of yours, he is bringing out the same types of fear and emotions that you experienced with the ex. Not good.

    If child care issues have been cropping up several times when you two had major plans, I can understand him being disapponted but shit, he knew the deal before getting involved with you. The bigger issue here is how he deals with adversity. Avoidance.

    So for now, remember my 72 hour hold. Do nothing. Just wait.

  3. Nikki B June 2, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    Anything new???

    I HATE the silent treatment – and I don’t have the trigger you do. However, I have to say maybe his silence is not him punishing you, but him not knowing what to do.

    Does he think there’s another reason you bailed? Are you not telling us, or is he not telling you? Was this going to be a miserable affair without you? Was there a really important reason for you to be there?

    Or – could be he knows he’s putting all of his anger on you for no good reason and he’s trying to cool off/sort things out and not do that to you any more. He’s having trouble expressing himself, AND getting over his frustration…

    Yikes. Sorry, love. Hope it gets better asap.

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