9 Jan

I had court today with the ex, and let’s just say I came out the victor today.  I was granted a no harassment order, I got all of his witnesses thrown out, and I put a major whole in their defense.  I feel like (a sober) Charlie Sheen…except for Adonis blood, I think I may have Aphrodite blood.

I was so nervous about today that I spent the day with Loverboy yesterday.  He held me, and let me ramble on nonsensically.  He then brought up an excellent point.  Here it is paraphrased.

L: I really wish, Esme, that you weren’t going through all of this.  You stress about it, which makes me negative, and I don’t like it.  And you won’t talk to me about it!  I know so little of what is going on, and it bothers me.  If I knew, I think I would feel better about it.

E: I don’t talk about it because I don’t want to cast this negativity over our relationship.  Believe me when I say this only got bad after I met you.  If this were going on prior to meeting you, I never would have agreed to meet you.  But look, now I have dragged you into it! I don’t want it to affect US.

L: What you and your ex have going on, does not affect us.  It affects you, so therefore it affects us.  But I can’t help you if you don’t TALK TO ME.

E: You’re right.  You are.  I’m sorry.  You can still ask me questions if you want to know something.  I honestly have no idea where to start.

L: I’m afraid to ask you questions.  Since you don’t talk about it, I’m so worried of offending you, making you mad, etc.

E: You can ALWAYS ask.  And you will ALWAYS get a response.  What happened made me who I am.  I’m not going to hide anything, I just don’t know how to tell you.

L: OK.  I feel better.

E: Thank you for telling me how you feel.  You are so good to me, L.  You are.  You listen when I need it.  You hold me when I need it.  I feel safe with you.  So very good to me.

L: No, Esme, you are good to me.  I have a long way to go before you can say I am good to you.

I don’t know how to take that last statement.  Thoughts??

Love, Esme


5 Responses to “Winning!”

  1. My Dating Hangovers January 9, 2012 at 6:38 pm #

    Come on E, you know exactly what that means! It’s him basically saying “you haven’t seen anything yet”

    For a $an to say that is recognizing you appreciate him and how he treats you but that what you’re currently experiencing is just the tip, surface behavior.

    Basically, he’s letting you know it can only get better and better.

    Glad to hear the court session went so well. Now, we’ll hope that this ex of yours suddenly comes to his senses and leaves you the hell alone.

    • Esme January 9, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

      Interesting thought…I have a friends that says Loverboy was showing self-depreciating behavior, and is uncomfortable taking compliments. But I like your explanation much better 🙂

  2. thoughtsappear January 10, 2012 at 7:06 am #

    Congrats on the no harrassment order!

  3. j January 10, 2012 at 9:09 am #

    Wonderful news on the court stuff. I agree with My Dating Hangovers. His statement just shows how much he appreciates you and how you inspire him to be better.

    • Nikki B January 13, 2012 at 10:48 pm #

      Agree! And Awesome all ’round!

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