Happy New Year!

1 Jan

I know I haven’t posted lately…I assure you all is well on the Loverboy front…I even had my first New Years kiss…sad since I’m in my thirties…and was married…but I digress…

I’m typing this on my phone since my laptop is on the fritz, so bear with me as long as you can. Fo realz. Yo. It’s hella good. (My auto correct is totally flipping its shit right now, and it’s making me laugh).

Loverboy and I are AWESOME. I have no complaints whatsoever. I went to his family Christmas with him, and it went well…despite his drunk mother. But I did talk to her before she was drunk, so I have a good idea that she is basically normal. But drunk she told Loverboy he needs to date someone with girls, because she wants granddaughters. She then asked me if I would be willing to have another kid. When I informed her there were no more babies coming out of this va-jay-jay, she rolled her eyes and said ‘Ugh, more boys’. She then took my hand and said, verbatim:

You know, Esme, you were prayed for.

Excuse me?

Apparently Loverboy’s mom has been waiting for him to date for so long, she began to pray. Guess she forgot to specify granddaughters…

As mom of the year was leaving, she hugged me and said that she so hopes, very much, that she sees me again. Loverboy heard this comment, and told his mom to stop making him sound desperate. I, for one of the few times in my life, was speechless.

Loverboy’s sis-in-law later told me that once she heard the pray comment, she ran downstairs where Loverboy and his bros were, yelling ‘Code Red! Code Red! Esme’s in trouble!’ That would be the moment family surrounded me en masse and deflected any more questions and/or comments from Drunky McDrunkerson. And it was very much appreciated!

New Years Eve came, and we decided it was time for the kids to meet. Yes, ladies, we took the biggest step I can think of at this point in time. KIDS! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!
I stressed about it all day, and there was no need to. Our kids got along famously. In fact, mine keep asking to see his again. At the strike of midnight, Loverboy let the kids throw confetti, in his house, which gave the perfect opportunity for him to kiss me. I can’t think of a more perfect way to celebrate 🙂

With ups come downs, and this time it is in the form of Sunday. Its not even worth hashing out, but it is very pathetic that she is still talking shit about me after six months. Get a fucking life. I found out that she is testifying against me at my custody hearing…despite her divorce lawyers advising against it. When she confronted me about it, I informed her that it would be in her best interest to back down, as I will annihilate her. She said ‘whatever’. I smiled, and I am truly looking forward to fucking her shit up. On record. Which can affect her custody battle. BRING IT BITCH.

One down, a million goods. I truly ended 2011 on such an incredible high. Loverboy. Protection from the ex. My children by my side. I made fabulous friends…Jake, Seal. So many others. I learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned to let go of toxic relationships. I learned to say no. I learned that I’m a pretty fucking awesome chick, and Loverboy is damn lucky to have me.

To quote Barney Stinson:


I rock.

Love, Esme


6 Responses to “Happy New Year!”

  1. thoughtsappear January 2, 2012 at 7:05 am #

    Yes, you do rock. Happy New Year, Esme!

    • Esme January 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

      Happy new year! Give Esme the cat a big kiss…she has a great name 🙂

  2. j January 2, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    You do rock! Happy New Year lady!

    • Esme January 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

      Happy new year to you, too!

  3. My Dating Hangovers January 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

    Aww….. this is a great post for the New Year! Having absolutely “no complaints” is the best anyone could ask for. Drunk but Great Mom sounds like a blast, but I love the fact that she’s honest. Letting you know what she wants for her son (for him to date and score a great woman), that she’d love to have more grandbabies (and she now knows up front it ain’t happening with you so no worries about her nagging) and she sounds so welcoming.

    Words can’t explain how I feel when hearing about any woman’s success story, especially after the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been through the last year.


    You’re definitely keeping hope alive that there are still some good men out there. This I knew, it’s just a matter of weeding the bad ones out.

    • Esme January 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

      I have to be honest…I keep waiting for the bad…for there to be something to complain about. No one is this perfect…

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