Another Tick In The Douchero Column

12 Nov

So after the stood up fiasco (and by the way…I never heard from that guy again), I got asked out the next night.

I have been communicating with this Douche (D3) for a couple of weeks.  I met him online, he is kinda sorta in the same profession as me, and he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.  So when he asked me out last-minute, I said OK.  Free drink, possibly good company, so why not.  I figured the worst that could happen was I would be stood up again.

I got dressed in jeans and a sweater.  I put on make-up, which takes forever with one arm.  I wound up putting on way too much eyeliner, but I liked it, so I left it as is.  (Tangent-do you find you wear more make-up when you are trying to hide or when you feel more guarded?  Because I do.  I’m not quite sure why.)  I dug some heels out of the closet, and I was off to my second date in two days.

D3 and I arrived at the same time.  Bonus point for him.  He dressed nice, another point for D3.  But it wasn’t a great date.  Conversation was difficult and strained, I wasn’t comfortable.  There was NO WAY this was going to go anywhere, but I figured we may be able to make a friendship out of it.

D3 ate a burger, and I had a beer.  A BEER,  Not two beers, not Dom Perignon, ONE BEER.  3.75.  That’s it.

When I finished my drink, D3 asked me if I wanted another.  I declined, and said I needed to go home to take some pain meds.  Who knew the shoulder would come in handy?  Our bill arrived, he looked at it, and said:

Your part is 4 dollars.

Uuummmm…excuse me??

Did he not ask me out?  Did he not eat a huge, expensive dinner?  And he has the nerve to ask me to pay four fucking dollars?

I had no cash, so I pulled out my debit card, and told the waitress to put my drink on my bill.  When she came back, I said I needed to go and left.  He took my abruptness as pain, and texted me later saying he hoped I was feeling better.

OK-What the fuck??  I don’t know how many times I have had to pay for myself since I have been dating.  Many MANY times would be the most accurate answer.  It’s not like we are 18…far from it.  These guys run the gamut from 28 to 38.  Were they not taught basic dating rules?

The lack of chivalry has left me completely speechless.  I can’t even type the words to make this post sound more eloquent.  It’s just fucking ridiculous.

I have one more guy who wants to go out with me.  And I just can’t afford it!  I think I am going to have to tell this guy that since I am on such a strict budget, we have to go to McDonald’s.  Or I will have to say I just can’t afford to go out on a date right now.  Christ…I never thought this would be an issue.  How fucking embarrassing.

Love, Esme


2 Responses to “Another Tick In The Douchero Column”

  1. My Dating Hangovers November 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    This is really sad- no disgusting. No wonder some stay with the less than great boyfriend or continue seeing the non-impressive friend with benefits.

    To waste time, money and a cute outfit on losers like this?


    Chivalry has escaped many of these class-less men girl, its’s like a damn epidemic of stupidness. Really? Here’s your portion? I wonder if he planned this from the beginning regardless of whether the date was going so-so or absolutely great? Are these types of men like women? Deciding they’re not going to wear their sexy underwear too?


    But seriously, maybe that should be your up front question going forward – telling these “men” that if you’re meeting up or going on a date,it’ll need to be within your budget. Perhaps you can ween out the decent from the assholes based on their reply to that which will either be:

    – Sure Esme, we can choose an inexpensive place. What’s your budget? (Douche alert)

    – Huh? What type of men have YOU been dating? I wouldn’t ask a woman to pay for anything, I’m a man (Non-douche)

    Try it and report the results.

    Good luck darling. :/

    • Esme November 13, 2011 at 8:06 pm #

      I’m definitely going to start having talks like this. I can’t afford to date if I have to pay when someone asks ME out. I’m all for womens lib and being equal…but I am also for chivalry. Opening doors, holding coats, etc. Is it so wrong to want what my grandparents had?

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