I Hate Dating Take 5000…

10 Nov

So with everything going on the last week and a half, I decided I needed to get out and focus on something else.  I can feel myself falling into a bit of a depression, and I need to crawl out of it.

There is this guy that has been trying to get me to go out with him for the last three months.  He is a persistent little fucker.  I finally gave in.  I figure it would get me out, and it was a free meal.  My cooking abilities have been greatly diminished with my bad shoulder.

I got to the restaurant and the agreed upon time, and got a table.  I never wait for someone to show…I feel like an idiot standing at the door.  I chose a table that faced the door.  I was able to see the entire room.  There was one door in, and one door out.  If anyone was going to enter, I would see them.  I feel like I am beating a dead horse, but there was no way anyone could get by me.  Now that has been settled, let’s continue.

5 minutes in…no Douche.  10 minutes in…no Douche.  I ordered myself  bowl of delicious Loaded Baked Potato Soup…still no Douche.  I eat my soup, paid, and left.  I was there for 35 minutes total.

As I was getting into my car, I got a text.  What time were you thinking?

Oh.  Hell.  No.

E: I was there at the agreed upon time of noon.  I have now left.
D: I was there.
E: No you weren’t.
D: I was.
E: I dislike liars.  I was there, I ate, I could see the whole room.  Not one guy walked in alone while I was there.  Not one.  Nice try.

I never heard back.

All I wanted was one hour of not focusing on all the shit that happened last week.  I wanted to talk, laugh, have a drink, and think about something else.  Apparently, not meant to be.

Now, this is the fourth time I have been stood up.  1-2-3-4.  FOUR.  I DO NOT understand the standing up thing.  And I sure as hell don’t understand lying about it.  And normally I don’t take this shit personally.  But I have had such a SHITTY week, that I couldn’t help but to take it personally.  Just.  Couldn’t.  Help.  It.  I actually cried.  To be honest, I don’t think getting stood up is what I was really crying over…I think it was my dad.  But getting stood up pushed me over the edge.

I have to admit that I had a few moments of self-doubt.  Maybe my ex was right, and I really am unlovable.  There must be something about me that men just don’t like.  I’m the common denominator here…what is wrong?

Then I snapped out of it.  These guys don’t know me, so how can they judge my character?  I think I just truly attract doucheros, and that is the only problem.  And as for being unlovable, I think I haven’t found anyone worth letting love me completely.  If I had, I would not have content for this blog.  So I am not worried.  Yet.

To try to bump up this day a little bit, I put in a call to Medic.  Unfortunately, he is working until pretty late.  If he isn’t too tired, he will hop on by.  I hope he does…I want to jump his ass as soon as he walks in my door.  I told him as much, too 🙂

Love, Esme

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2 Responses to “I Hate Dating Take 5000…”

  1. My Dating Hangovers November 10, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Alright, first thing that came to mind when I read this was “some men are just assholes”. I’m kind of feeling bad for telling you “go, get out on the date, do it”, to know that you’ve had to subject yourself to this.

    Being stood up sucks and is a classless move.

    If you’re not interested, say it. If something comes up, say it. If you’ve committed to meeting up/going out with someone and an opportunity to meet someone better/cuter/sluttier/whatever! Simply call or even text to cancel.

    I mean really, grow the fuck up.

    Now, allow me to add a glimmr of hope on this situation.

    I understand you had that one way in, one way out on lockdown, so unless this jerk was Casper the friendly ghost, I have nothing else to offer and will conclude you got stood up. A fourth time.

    BUT, you mention you guys were meeting up somewhere and I only say this because I did this a few weeks ago- were you at the right place?

    I was meeting a friend at Super Mex and mentioned I would be coming from one area that was close to one. My friend thought I would meet him at the one closest to my home and bam! We were in two different places, me figuring this out after cursing him out that he was late.

    So….. Common place and possible mix up or “sorry Carmen, he’s an asshole and just never showed up”?

    • Esme November 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

      I would give the whole ‘maybe he was at a different restaurant’ thing merit except for one thing…this place is one of a kind mom-and-pop pub. No other exists. So he can’t even use that as an excuse…although I’m sure he considered it!

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