Happy Halloween! I Never Should Have Watched That Movie.

31 Oct


That cat just cracks me up…

So yesterday, in honor of the holiday, I decided to put on my big girl panties and watch a scary movie.  Alone.  At night.  In my house.  So very alone.  I hate scary movies.  With a passion.  I seriously dislike being scared.  I like thrills…like rollercoasters, adrenaline rushes, etc.  But if someone jumps out and scares me, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.  Most of the time I punch…it’s a reaction…

I’ve really been wanting to see 1408.  My brother had assured me that it wasn’t scary, and if I happened to get scared-it was irrefutable proof I was a pussy.  So after the sun went down, I started a fire in the ‘place, and settled in for the movie.  Here is what I learned, a la Thoughtsy

  • I never should watch a scary movie.  Alone.  At night.
  • If your radio spontaneously plays ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’, you better damn well believe you’ve only just begun.
  • I should always listen to Samuel L. Jackson.
  • The only way to kill evil spirits is to burn them.  Which makes absolutely no sense to me because there is nothing to burn…
  • Alcohol helps us deal with everything.
  • Evil spirits know how to use Skype.  We are all screwed.
  • John Cusack does not age.  Maybe because he keeps living the same hour over and over again?

So after I was done watching this, several things happened in my house.

  • I paused live TV, which I can do, but it kept unpausing itself.  THAT has never happened.
  • I was using my microwave when the lights suddenly went out on the display.
  • My brother called me a pussy.

I do not believe in ghosts, but I am now convinced I live in a haunted house.  I asked Will to pay for an exorcism, and he told me to lay off the heroin.  I’m so glad I can count on him if I become possessed…

Lesson learned.  No more scary movies.

Love, Esme




7 Responses to “Happy Halloween! I Never Should Have Watched That Movie.”

  1. thoughtsappear November 1, 2011 at 6:42 am #

    Thoughtsy? Who’s that? Some crazy person I’m sure. =)

    I’ve never seen 1408, but it’s in my Netflix queue now. So what you’re saying is evil spirits can use Skype, the microwave, and the TV? Oh…no….

  2. Ric November 1, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    I live close by…you should have called me…I would have made you feel better.:)

    • Esme November 1, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

      You probably could have! 😉

  3. My Dating Hangovers November 1, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    Only you Esme, only you!!

    This is funny because I’m picturing those “random” things that happened after the movie and you know what, call me pussy! Meow!

    I can’t watch the scary stuff alone (especially anything dealing with evil spirits, I can tolerate the slashers) alone either. It never fails after trying it, I start tuning in for things scaring the crap out of myswelf. “Ooh, what’s that tapping sound?”. Self: “that’s your heart pounding through your watch.

    You brave chick you!

    • Esme November 1, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      Seriously. My microwave keeps going out, so I am not convinced yet that there isn’t some kind of spirit in here…

  4. calebshreves November 2, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Watch Paranormal 2 home alone. I dare you. I watched it with LJ in the theater (she’s like you with scary movies) and when I got up to pee she grabbed my leg and hissed “if you leave me here alone I swear I’ll rip your balls off.”

    Lesson learned?

    • Esme November 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

      Caleb, you’re alive!

      I’ve actually seen Paranormal Activity 1, that was my first scary movie in over ten years. Lights were on, it was day time, and I didn’t find it scary. But I’m sure in the dark it would be petrifying. So I won’t do it.

      So I spit on your dare and ground it into the dirt with my heel. I still think my house is haunted NOW, so it would not benefit me (my roommate) for me to perpetuate it! Maybe when I can threaten to rip sometimes balls off…

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