4 Sep

I just got the most random e-mail from Perfect.  ‘Memba him?  for all those who don’t, click the tag to your right.  But a quick overview:

  • He was the first guy I dated after my divorce.
  • He had two girls I fell in love with.
  • He had a crazy (legitly crazy) ex-wife he decided to give a second chance to, called me while I was on shift to let me know.
  • He called a week later and told me he made a mistake.
  • We never officially dated again, because I wouldn’t allow it.  But we had dinners with our families, and we sometimes spent the night at each other’s places.
  • What stopped us from being friends was an argument where he called me disgusting, vile names.  I told him to fuck off, and I never talked to him again

So the e-mail.  He found me on Facebook, quite a feat because I changed my last name.

He wrote to ask for my forgiveness.

He told me that he can now admit that he had strong feelings for me.  And he only realizes it because God has given him another amazing woman, that he married, and this time he was able to see it.  And act on it.

Well shit.

I don’t hate him anymore, because I just don’t have the energy to hate him anymore.  I have enough other things to deal with.  So if he needs to hear that I don’t hate him so he can move on in his perfect little existence, then so be it.  I let him know.

Now here is what pisses me off.  Yet another douchero man in my life has met someone, and settled down.  Yet another one that treated me like shit, and then told me I was UH-MAY-ZING and that some day I will find a man who will appreciate me, has found their soul mate.  What the fuck?!?!?

How is it I can’t even get to date four?  Or find anyone who appreciates me?  This makes sense how??

Fuck this dating/man thing.  OK, not really, but I am in pain, and I am super fucking frustrated.  What’s next, an e-mail from Nice Guy?  I can’t deal with this shit right now.

Love, Esme


5 Responses to “Random”

  1. Nikki B September 5, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    OMG girl I feel you. And *ginormous eyeroll* to this dude getting you to make himself feel better. I mean, you’ve already moved on, understood the situation… like you need the closure from him… but it makes him feel better so…

    Ugh. Honey – I don’t know. All I can say is? When it rains, it fucking pours.

    Much love.

    • Esme September 5, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

      I still say…guys think we are the crazy ones? I didn’t need the e-mail. I had my closure when he called me a lying whore. I don’t think anything else ever needed to be said. It’s not my fault he finally figured out he was a dick.

  2. j September 5, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    It was kind of you to email him back….I probably would have ignored it or sent a big fuck you in response.

    I think guys are the crazy ones…and that they are the ones that drive women over the edge into crazyville.

    • Esme September 5, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

      I wanted to send a big fuck you, but I didn’t want to stoop to his level-or the level he was at. Better to take the high road, I thought. Even though in the short run it makes me feel like shit.

  3. Simm September 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    Good lord, I feel like he just wanted to feel better about himself (like Nikki said). Gah, it just goes to show you that you were amazing and now it’s a lil too late.

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