Dating On Hold?? Probably…

24 Aug

So despite the fact that I had my heart ripped out of my chest, friends have been trying to talk me into dating again.  I’m still struggling with that decision.  It just feels wrong to date when my heart belongs to someone else.  Being further removed from the situation, I understand their sentiment.  No one wants to see their girlfriend in pain.  What better way to get over a man than to find a new one?  As much as I am fighting kicking and screaming, I have started to see their point.  Not that I agreed to date, but I saw their point.

It’s like Karma has decided that I am not ready to date.  OK, so I am probably reaching here, but I have to tell myself these things to make me feel better 😉

I went to the doctors the other day, and I was told the one thing I DID NOT want to hear.  Esme, you need surgery.  That shoulder is just not getting better.

Fuck fuck fuck shit FUCK.  I feel like I am saying these words a lot lately.  Surgery??  I don’t have time for surgery!  The only family I have in this state are my kids.  Shoulder surgery would leave me incapacitated for weeks.  My mom will come out for the first week, it’s all she can take off of work.  So now I have to figure shit out I didn’t think I had to figure out.  Thank God I have some great friends.

I also have some issues going on with the ex-husband as well (controlling abusive PRICK.  He started shit, I’m ending it).  Things I just am not going to blog about.  But basically, the last two weeks have been bad news after bad news after bad news.  I have cried more in the last two weeks than I have the last year.  I blame pain medicine.  That shit turns me into a bitch and depresses me.

So here is my hope.  I have the surgery, and after a realistic time to heal, I am back at 100%.  I can finally get off the pain medicine and get my sassy self back.  Things with my ex work out the way they are supposed to.  That someday soon I will meet Mr.  Tall Dark and Handsome.

I think that none of this is too much to ask.

Oh, and to get laid.  I’d really like to get laid right about now.

Love, Esme

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6 Responses to “Dating On Hold?? Probably…”

  1. MyDatingHangovers (@myhangovers) August 24, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    You certainly have a lot going on my dear and adding surgery to the mix is the ultimate BOOM! POW! KICK!

    Dating? No.

    I think for now, getting all of the things you spoke of resolved to your satisfaction is the only thing you should be thinking of but the utmost important – getting laid.

    Being fulfilled sexually, whether you’re angry or sad normally is a good thing. Lasting effects? Not so much but the brief cheap thrill is worth it.

    Sorry to hear that so much is upsetting your world right now, so without sounding as lame as ever just think – this probably means there’s a LOT of good things coming afterwards.

    =)

    • Esme August 25, 2011 at 12:34 am #

      Good Lord I hope so. Bring on the good!

  2. thoughtsappear August 25, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    I’m sorry to hear that you have to have surgery. And that your ex is being a prick. I hope things start looking up soon!

  3. Simm August 25, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    I’m sorry to hear that you need surgery as well 😦 At least it will fix the problem once and for all and you can be healthy Esme for our girls trip in February! 🙂

    Dating, nah, too much drama and BS… focus on the most important thing – you and your health!

    • Esme August 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

      I definitely need to be better for our trip!!

  4. DressySJP August 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

    Ahhhh well we will all be your post surgery support!!!

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