How Does One Stop Drunk Texting?

1 Jun

I really really really need to know.  Like as soon as possible.

Quick tangent:  Medic continues to text me (he always starts it) just to say Hi Esme.  How is your day?  Hmmm…I think he may have an interest in me, as I do him, but neither of us knows how to proceed.  Something may happen, something probably won’t.  Whatevs.  I will keep you updated on Medic.

Back to the reason for this post…DRUNK TEXTING.  Does anyone else do it?  Please tell me someone else out there does it!!  I have been guilty of this ever since I started dating again.  Where did this phenomenon start?  Why did I start doing it?  How do I stop it?

The first time I remember texting while drunk (now referred to as TWD) was just over two years ago.  AG and I were our torrid, steamy affair.  I was out with a friend, and I had too much to drink.  She wasn’t paying enough attention to my drunk ass (Psssshhhhh…a real girlfriend would have been all up in my grill when my phone came out…just sayin’)  I commenced TWD to AG.  I told him how much I loved running my hands all over his body, etc etc etc.  I was lucky we were…uhmmm…fucking…because he took it all in stride.  OK, girlfriend could have a pass.  I didn’t do anything stupid.  But we did make a pact after that day-whenever we went out drinking together we would trade phones.  Decent plan, right??  I can’t text if I don’t have my phone!  And she has the same problem I do, so it was a win-win.  Well, it was until I had her phone once when she got a racy text…and I responded for her for four hours…and never told her…

So back to me.  I ended up TWD to Mr. Hottie one night a year and a half ago.  Also not bad, because we were…you know.

I’ve TWD to a firefighter I worked with.  He wanted to bang, I said no.  But when I was drunk, texting didn’t seem like a bad idea.  Whoops.

I could go on and on, but let’s fast forward to present day.  I have made a lot of TWD errors, party fouls, whatever you want to call them.  Bad Esme, bad!  But I just can’t STOP.  And leaving the phone home isn’t an option when you have to stay connected.

*This may or may not look like me after a night of drinking*

Most recently, I TWD to Mr. Hottie…but this time we aren’t doing the nasty.  And it was highly inappropriate on my end.  Of course, he loved it.  A little excerpt:

E: You miss me, don’t you?
Mr. H: Never said I didn’t.
E: You have a soft spot for me in that heart of yours.
Mr. H: Never denied it.
E: You…want me.
Mr. H: Are you drunk?
E: NO!  Maybe.  Does 4 margaritas count as drunk?
Mr. H: Lol.  Yes babe, it does.  For you it does.  Do you want me?
E: Yes…stupid me.
Mr. H: You gonna come to me? You have to come to me…
E: Fuck me (I meant this as a ‘oh shit’ comment)! No, don’t! Well maybe…tell me what you would do to me…

You can imagine how it spiraled from there.  Reading it the next day sober made me blush profusely, and I’m not easy to embarrass.  I sent him an apology text the next day, and he responded with a smiley face.  God dammit.

So do you see why I need a cure for TWD??  I can’t keep doing this.  THANK GOD I texted Mr. Hottie instead of some of the others in my phone.  At least he is used to it.  And if I had to drunk text anyone, I’m glad it was him.  But past history has shown me to TWD other guys (not just AG, either…).  Pills?  Change in diet?  What is going to make it stop?  And don’t say stop drinking…because that is just not an option…

Much love, Esme

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8 Responses to “How Does One Stop Drunk Texting?”

  1. j June 1, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

    I have this problem too. I think the only solution is to leave your phone at home while drink. But I just don’t see that as a viable option.

    And don’t get me started on drunk laptop use…I once posted an incoherent blog after a night of drinking. I couldn’t even decipher it in the morning.

  2. Carmen June 1, 2011 at 8:50 pm #

    RANT: I really hate trying to reply from my Crackberry – I get a good one in then poof! System error and it’s gone and I’m back trying to remember what the hell I wrote.

    Now, back to you… 🙂

    Invite to a party or club.
    A girlfriend or two.
    Loud music.
    Alcohol.
    An “okay” time instead of a SLAMMING time.
    A really hot ex or FB who ROCKED your world.
    A hot box between your legs.

    The perfect storm for TWD, what do you need a cure for?? LOL

    Seriously, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t pick up the phone under ALL of the circumstances above. We love hearing about these episodes and of course, seeing the proof, ala the sent text messages.

    There’s something about a drunk being honest right?

    As long as you don’t FWD (figure that one out), teasing or flirting a little using your cell is acceptable. Just DO NOT send pictures. Ha!

    • Esme June 3, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

      No clue what FWD is…fucking while drunk??

      As long as I text AG or Mr. Hottie I’m fine. Its when I meet someone new I am worried about…don’t want that freak flag to fly too soon!

  3. MyDatingHangovers June 3, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Ding, ding ding! Exactly whay FWD is. Just enjoy yourself and remember, if any of them ever ask for dirty pics just remember that “forward” button on cell phones.

    Hope you get it in this weekend!

    • Esme June 4, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      That needs to be one of Esme’s rules…no dirty pics on cell phones. I always figured that was self-explanatory. Guess not…

  4. Simmarah June 6, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    I think innocent flirting is alright! Sometimes I have the urge, but I usually end up passing out before I can text, LOL. No naughty pictures on my cell either. Hells no!! Too many jealous people out there.

    • Esme June 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

      Wish I would pass out before I did it…because I did it again last night. *sigh*

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Questions People Ask Google | Love, Esme - October 15, 2011

    […] stop drunk texting?  This is asked in so many different ways.  And I know I am guilty of this.  Read here.  The simple answer?  Leave the damn phone at home.  100% fail […]

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