Night At The Gay Bar

18 Feb

So Jake and I have decided to be friends.  We kept our plans for last night, and I had a hell of a time.  I really felt like I have made a great friend.

I got out late from work, and I met him at a local brewhouse.  No heels (THE FUCKING HORROR), no make-up, and my hair up in a clip.  I didn’t think twice about it, because it’s not like I am trying to fuck him, right?  Well, never underestimate the power of a made-under woman.  Wow, Jake said when he walked into the brewhouse.  You look GREAT!  Who knew…who fucking knew…

We shared some onion rings and had a beer.  He was telling me about a new class he was taking, and how a guy asked him out for next week.  He is nervous…feels like he is unfamiliar territory.  I pointed out that sometimes we need to be taken out of our comfort zone to know what we truly want.  He confessed to me that he is still a little wary about the whole sex thing.  I laughed, and told him that one date doesn’t mean he has to sleep with the guy.  ‘Jake!  Just go out, relax, and have a good time!  Don’t cross any boundaries you aren’t comfortable with.  Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.  Just go out with the guy, smile at him and let him buy you a damn drink!  Fuck dude…I need to teach you how to date…’

We finished our onion rings and then he asked me if I have to work in the morning.  Not too early, was my reply.  Have something in mind?  He sure did…He took me to the gay district in the next town over.  Oh my god I can’t believe I didn’t know about this before!! At first I didn’t want to go because I wasn’t dressed to go to the bar.  Duh, Esme…just duh.

I had a fucking BLAST.  We were checking out guys.  We played some pool (and both really suck at it).  We watched 4 guys walked into the men’s bathroom (it was a single bathroom), and not lock the door so other guys could join in if they wanted.  And some did.  We danced goofy dance moves to Miley Cyrus (I knew she had a place somewhere).

He told me again how great I look when I am relaxed and enjoying myself.  I finally told him what I was thinking.

You know, Jake, I have some pretty excellent gaydar.  I truly do.  But you have me confounded.  I am just not picking up on it.  I hear you tell me you think you are gay.  And I hear you telling me you think that guy over there is attractive.  But I am just not sure you are quite feeling it, or wanting to live it.

He told me he is really struggling with the feelings he has.  He said ‘I figure if I am finding some men attractive, and have the urge to want to maybe sleep with one, then I must be gay’.

I was rendered a little speechless by this, because I wholeheartedly disagree.  Someone may be able to shed some more light on this for me, but I am going to reiterate that this is MY OPINION, so please don’t shoot me.

I disagree, Jake.  I am as straight as they come.  I LOVE dick.  But I will tell you that I have a girl crush.  And if she walked in that door right now, came up to me and offered to rock my fucking world, I would jump on that shit.  And I don’t think that makes me gay.  It may make me curious.  But I also don’t have the need to sleep with just any chick.  So I don’t know.

He promised to let me know how his date goes, because I am super curious.  I am not sure which way this guy is going to go.

We stayed till last call, and he drove me back to my car.  We made tentative plans to go see a comedian in a couple of weeks, and we were talking about going to a bj class…no shit they are actually offered.  He is looking into it.

We had a great time together, and I honestly can’t wait to see him again.  We have a lot in common and we had a hell of a lot of fun.

Much love, Esme


6 Responses to “Night At The Gay Bar”

  1. Cath February 21, 2011 at 2:16 am #

    This guy is interesting, if only because one of my worst heartbreaks came from a guy who wasn’t sure if he were gay or not …

    • Esme February 23, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

      Oh Cath, that sucks. I am so sorry. I can understand how it can be painful.

  2. Q February 23, 2011 at 4:34 am #

    So, my insight on this one is that there is no such thing (or at least it is very rare indeed) to be either 100% straight or 100% gay or exactly 50/50 in the middle bi. In my college psych classes we talked about this topic (pioneered in the US by Alfred Kinsey), and the general population sits somewhere in the spectrum between 100% straight or gay, whether or not they admit it. Finding where you are on the spectrum, and being honest with yourself about it, can be an arduous process!

    • Esme February 23, 2011 at 11:32 pm #

      Agreed. I think they key is to confident, and to be proud of who you are. Do whatever, or whomever, you damn well please!

  3. Simmarah February 23, 2011 at 6:52 am #

    I’m glad you had a fab time. I think people will always be curious, regardless of their sexuality. I’m a straight girl, but if I had a girl crush, I would go for it … doesn’t make me bisexual right?

    Gorgeous without makeup and hair tied back … girl you’re just amazing 🙂

    • Esme February 23, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

      I would go for it, too…and I think I am as straight as they come. Or maybe I’m not. But that is the great thing about being confident with yourself. I have the moxie to do whatever I damn well please!

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