Right Back At Ya, Simmarah!

7 Jan

So that sassy dame, Simmarah, and I, decided to blog about the guys we have slept with.  Why?  Who the fuck knows…and cares.  All we know is it could be really interesting.  So here it is…the lucky guys on my list.  Oh, and apparently we rated!  Take that, fuckers.  Drumroll please!!!

1.  My ex-husband…the one who never gave me an orgasm. 0/10

2.  Ambulance Guy…Ahh, what memories.  Looking back, not all that great, but exactly what I needed to awaken the desires.  4/10

3.  Perfect…looking back, what a stupid fucking nickname for him.  But, at the time I thought he was fucking phenomenal.  Ummm…no.  Only good thing was he could go for hours. 5/10

4.  Mr. Hottie…to this DAY I still look back on Mr. Hottie and think he may be the best damn lay I have ever had.  Not because of mechanics or know-how, but because he was so damn into my body. And it just shined through.  10/10

5.  The Doctor…looking back, meh.  Just not much to say about it.  5/10

6.  Another firefighter not worth mentioning.  2/10

7.  New Guy…it was so vanilla, I almost forgot about it.  3/10

8.  Sexy…Awesome.  It was awesome.  Too bad his personality wasn’t.  9/10

9.  Irish-man…it was good, but I still maintain I think he is married.  Too bad…fucker.  7/10

10.  Nice Guy…so we finally did it, and it was well worth the wait.  Didn’t rate quite as high as one other, but damn it sure was close!  The man knows his way around a woman.  9.5/10

11.  Ex-BF…also excellent.  He was also a great fucking time.  Too bad he had to go and be a dick.  *sigh* Men and their drama.  9/10.

As a disclaimer…I wish my list were longer.  WHAT?!?! You heard me right.  I wish I was a bigger skank.  I was the good girl who didn’t sleep with anyone else until she met her husband.  I was even in a sorority in college!  I had every fucking opportunity!!  I wish I were a whore in college!!!!! But I was all for maintaining my good girl image.  Fuck that shit.  Once I was free to start seeing people again, I did.  With a vengeance.  And without much prejudice, apparently.  However, I am making up for lost time.  AND, I am still working on it, thankyouverymuch.

Anyone else want to join in on this?  Reminiscing can be such fun…I dare you…

Much love, Esme

 

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14 Responses to “Right Back At Ya, Simmarah!”

  1. Carmen January 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm #

    Ooh, love, love, love it! So skanky, so up front. You wont believe this but I was thinking the same thing today and was gonna do a post on my “book”, figured it too risque. Who cares? Its my shit, right?

    Problem is? My list might make me look a little… Uh… Skankish big time so Ill have to do like a top 10 or 20 or 30 or something.

    • Esme January 7, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

      DO IT!! You know you want to…

    • Esme January 8, 2011 at 11:20 pm #

      2-twice. 3-multiple times. He was my fuck buddy for awoke. Since I didn’t know better, I thought he was the best EVER. Now that I know better, UGH.

      • Esme January 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

        Whoops…for awile…see what happens when you drunk text 😉

        • Esme January 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

          …awhile…SHIT!

  2. CB January 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm #

    I won’t lie… I fucking love this shit. And here for the longest time everybody said being a slurry bitch is a bad thing!!! 😉

    I’m at 12, don’t worry hooker I wish my lust was longer too! But I fucked myself and got married. Missed out on all that great hate sec with random strangers….

    Piss.

  3. CB January 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    Yep, that’s what happens when you comment from your phone.

    ‘slurry bitch’= SLUTTY bitch is what I meant!!

    And not ‘lust’ dammit! I meant LIST!

    Grrrrr

  4. CB January 8, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    Fuck. And not sec…. SEX goddamnit!

    • Esme January 8, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      That’s OK CB, I know what you meant 😉 And I am totally drunk off my fucking ass as I reply to this, so who knows if this even makes fucking sense. I love Saturday nights…I love hot men and lowered inhibitions…

  5. Carmen January 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

    Yep, Im gonna woman up and do it but question… Aside from a-hole ex husband, how many more times did you do a pity fuck with the 2’s and 3’s??-

  6. Simmarah January 10, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    WOO HOO!! I love this list!!
    Yours is much shorter than mine, omg, lol. Don’t wish that you were a bigger skank, sometimes you end up getting worse sex!! (like me)!

  7. nikki04 January 10, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    Excuse me, ladies, but enough with the “whore” talk around here. I think women like sex more than we’re allowed to express, and I think it’s high time we did – without excuses, without putting it down, and without acting like it’s a bad thing.

    Not that you were… just saying! Bravo!

    • Esme January 10, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Oh I fucking LOOOOVE sex. And I do wish my list were longer 😉

      • nikki04 January 10, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

        Is there a good reason NOT to wish the list was longer?

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