Oh So Sexy…

5 Dec

So after much soul-searching, calls to girlfriends, and nights out drinking with other girlfriends, I decided to keep ‘seeing’ Sexy.  After all, what’s in a name, right?  It’s not his fault his mom gave him the same name as my ass-hat of an ex-fuck-tard.  I just know I can never call out his name during sex, because that would just be way to fucking weird.

It had been three weeks since I have seen Sexy.  I had such mixed emotions running through me.  I was antsy, because sex with him was like fucking heroin…and I was in full-blown detox.  I was nervous because I had basically ignored him the last few weeks because of my own insecurities, and I wasn’t sure how he would react to that (even though I was honest with him when it became an issue with me).  I was excited because I was finally getting to see him again after three weeks.  And I was confused…what are these weird stirrings I am feeling in my chest whenever I think about him?  Or receive a text message from him?  Eh…I can always explore that later.

So our schedules finally coincided.  We finally were able to meet (THANK ALL THAT IS FUCKING HOLY)  I tried to get all sexified for him-not that I am not already, but I really wanted to go all out.  But the fates were not having it…during the day one thing after another kept happening.  Before I knew it, I only had a half hour until meeting time.  I looked in the mirror and sighed.  Damn!  Damn damn damn. I really wanted to impress him.  I really wanted to make him go WOW.  I really wanted to render him speechless.  But my reflection staring back at me told me that just wasn’t going to happen.  I wanted to cry.  I threw my hair into a ponytail, put on some lip gloss, and prayed I looked well enough.

I got to Sexy’s house and rang the doorbell.  I was facing away from the door when he opened it.  When I turned around to say ‘hi’, my breath caught in my throat-like it always does.  Damn he is just so damn attractive!

Esme!  Have you eaten yet?  Have you had dinner?  I’m hungry.  We should go eat.  Do you want to go eat?

Umm…No?  Yes?  I responded.  I was really taken back by this, as usually these nights are just me coming over, us having sex and falling asleep.  There is nothing even resembling a date attached to either end of these nights.

Good, he said.  He then gathered me into his arms and drew me in for a kiss.  A very soft, sensual kiss.  The kind of kiss you just get lost in.  The kiss became more passionate, as they have a way of becoming.  Sexy pulled out my ponytail and entwined his fingers in my hair.  I untucked his shirt so I could feel his muscles ripple under the touch of my fingers.  He drew my body against the full length of his so I was able to feel just how much he wanted me.  Dinner was just going to have to wait, we were going to have some appetizers first…

We were fighting against our clothes and against basic animalistic needs as we were working our way to the bedroom.  We finally made it down the hallway, with minimal bruising and only a small concussion on my part.  I got thrown on the bed and manhandled in the most unbelievable way.  This is a guy…and all of you ladies be ready to be fuh-king jeh-lous…who completely and totally makes it ALL ABOUT ME.  That’s right…apparently they do exist.  They are real.  And I found one.  And he is oh so into me and my body.  How do I know this?  He showed me.  With his hands, his mouth, his tongue, and other parts of his anatomy as well.  With whispered words, stolen kisses, secret smiles and tender touches.

After our fun time, Sexy tells me to get up and get dressed, it’s time to go eat.  Again, this gave me pause.  He was really taking me out to eat?  I told him I couldn’t really afford to go out, just to see what would happen.  Would it change anything?  Sexy looked at me funny and said ‘Esme, I am taking YOU to dinner.  This means I am paying.  Why is this a foreign concept?’

Why indeed?

I was so not dressed for this.  He was able to put on a nice shirt, get all spiffed up.  He looked really nice.  I was wearing a plain long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and generic Uggs.  Hair was back in a ponytail, and I was wearing no makeup.  I definitely did not match Sexy!  We went to a pretty nice restaurant, and we had a very nice meal.  Very easy-going conversation.  He held my hand at various times, smiled and laughed.  He was really enjoying himself.  And I was in awe.  I was actually having a decent date.  Ho-ly Shit.

We drove back to his house and as we pulled up he asked me if I was going to head home.  I told him I have no plans but a good book and some late night TV.  Sexy then said something else that amazed me: I have a party to go to tonight.  It’s a thing I do every year with a bunch of guys I went to college with.  They bring their girlfriends and wives.  There will be beer.  We just sit around, drink, talk, and have a good time.  Do you want to go?

Do you want me to go?

I’m just asking you if you want to, Esme.  I think you will get along with them, and I think we will have fun.

This time of year?  Odd time…

No other reason to get together, so we make a reason.

Well, a party does sound like fun.  But I am just not dressed for it.  I really don’t want you to be embarrassed of me.  (I honestly have no idea why I was feeling so insecure.  9.99 times out of 10 I could give a flying fuck what anyone thinks.)

I am 100% confident that behind your back they will be giving me high fives.  You always look amazing.

So I went to the party.  And I did have a great time!  Sexy introduced me to everyone right away.  He made sure I was happy, that I always had what I needed or wanted.  He kept his hand on my waist, back, or arm.  It was very apparent, to everyone at this party, that we were an ‘item’.  And honestly, it felt amazing.  It has been a long time since someone has been that attentive to me.

We left the party and went back to his place.  I had too much to drink (because that’s how I roll) to drive home, so I stayed.  I didn’t pack a bag that night since I had no intention of staying, so I borrowed a t-shirt to sleep in.  I was lounging on the bed in the t-shirt and panties while he was doing some work around his house.  He came back into the bedroom, took one look at me on the bed, and it was game on.  This was definitely not my intention, but it makes me oh so happy to know that I can turn a man (my man?) on like that.

Morning eventually came, like it always does, and I got up to leave.  Sexy walked me to the door and gave me a long hug and a very long kiss.  He held onto me and said into my ear-I am so glad you came over yesterday.  I am even more glad you decided to stay.

I smiled into his neck.  I’m sorry you are going to have to answer all of those questions on who I am by your friends, I said.

I felt him shrug.  Easy questions to answer.  I’m not worried.

Feelings!!  Feelings, feelings, feelings feelings…all bad…

Much love, Esme

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2 Responses to “Oh So Sexy…”

  1. ifUseekAmy December 6, 2010 at 1:33 pm #

    OOO, I likey! I hope there are many more days/nights like this. Ehh, the feelings can’t be ALL bad. They sounded pretty good to me. 😉

    • Esme December 6, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

      Amy-I am so worried that the feelings that are emerging on my end are not reciprocated for one. And two, I think feelings tend to ruin things. And it is really freaking hard to talk about feelings!! But there is more to the story I have yet to write, as this actually happened a little bit ago-I just had a hard time writing about it.

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