Welcome To My Sexy Party…

27 Nov

I think of this every time I think of Sexy…no shit.  This vision runs through my head.  At least it is a great vision…

So Sexy…where does one begin?  Oh yeah…by yelling at MYSELF for breaking every goddamned rule I have when it comes to fuck buddies.  Every single one.  They are easy rules to follow.  Let’s go over them, shall we?

1.  Never-EVER-spend the night.  Broke that rule night one.

2.  Never-EVER-make first contact.  Let them chase you.  Broke that one first night as well.

3.  Never-EVER-be available all of the time.  Story in itself, but I broke it.

4.  Never-EVER-go out on a date with your fuck buddy.  Or even entertain the idea.  Since we are talking about how I broke the rules, I know you are shaking your head right about now.

5.  Never-EVER-let feelings get involved.  Well…just FUCK.

Sexy and I met up after I basically fucking demanded it.  And, as it has been going, the sex is absolutely phenomenal.  I mean toe-curling, eye-rolling, close to blacking out sex.  Not moaning sex, but primal screaming sex.  To the point where I wasn’t even putting two coherent words together sex.  I think you understand…

Afterwards, when I should be getting up, getting dressed, telling him how I hate to eat and run, and fucking getting the hell out of Dodge, we sat and talked for a couple of hours.  I.  Am.  Such.  A.  Dumb.  Hooker!  Then he got me…he fucking got me…

Esme, you like sports.  I have tickets to (the local sporting team here in town), and can use them anytime I want them.  Would you like to go sometime?

I froze.  I just fucking froze.  Yes, I would love to go.  No, I shouldn’t go because it goes against everything I believe in when it comes to a great sexual relationship.  And for whatever reason, I don’t believe the two can co-exist.  And I am not sure I want a committed relationship.

I must have been silent for a very long time, because Sexy began to back-pedal.  Apologizing for asking me.  Changing the subject all together.  And I let him do it.  I chose not to answer the question, or even acknowledge the fact he just asked me out on a date.  I just don’t think I can do this.  And there is one HUGE reason why…

He has the same first name as my ex-husband…


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