25 Oct

This just wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t talk about the female ‘pleasure zone’.

I was watching an episode of Law & Order SVU last week, because I love the show…don’t judge me…Olivia fucking ROCKS and Eliot is someone I wouldn’t mind spending some time under…or over.  Anyways, this phrase was used: It’s not all bad news…I found blood and semen in her hootchi-hoo.

I sat straight up from my lounge position on my parents couch where I was visiting.  WHAT?? I yelled.  What the fuck did she just call a snatch?!?

Needless to say, the word ‘snatch’ did not go over to well with my mother.  I offended her somewhat delicate sensibilities, as I think the word fuck associated with the word snatch…who knows and fucking cares.  Hootchie-hoo? Who in the hell came up with that name?  I was laughing so hard I had fat tears rolling down my cheeks, my hands clutching my sides.  When I watched The Soup with Joel McHale a couple of days later…no less funny.  In fact, I think it was even better.  I still have this vision of a bunch of Beverly Hills socialites, with their accessory dogs and beach-blonde hair whispering about how they trim the hair on their ‘hootchie-hoos’ because they are too proper for words that people like…well…me use.

Which got me thinking, what words do I use in reference to my va-jay-jay?  Really, I have such a colorful language that no words are off limits.  Vagina, crotch, snatch, vadge, twat, cunt, pussy-snatch being my favorite.  I have even called my fair share of women-and men-twats, cunts, and pussys.  Don’t act all surprised…they fucking deserved it…skanks…

Some of the slag terms used for the female anatomy (better??) are fucking hilarious. My favorite is from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.  Neil Patrick Harris says ‘I want burgers…fur burgers’.  LOOOOOOOOVE  IT!  Also, being in a firehouse has greatly broadened my vocabulary when it comes to completely vulgar-but funny-terminology.  Cum dumpster, fuzz box, sperm sucker, great divide, axe wound.

So I wonder!  Because my mind is always working, what have you heard snatch referred to as?  Share, dear readers…as I am a very curious Esme…

Much love, Esme


4 Responses to “Hootchie-Hoo??”

  1. gneissguy November 3, 2010 at 9:34 am #

    Found your blog while searching hootchie-hoo, thought it was hilarious too. One term I heard growing up in the south was “hair pie,”which I think you can figure out.

    • Esme November 3, 2010 at 1:41 pm #

      I have to wonder why you were searching for hootchie-hoo one the internet? 😉
      Sounds like it could be a good story!!

  2. nikima March 28, 2011 at 6:01 am #

    so years later, okay months, I saw that same episode & hit the internets to see if anyone else did too! i had to rewind just to make sure I heard right & so i could spew it correctly when I run with it in my everyday life! I may trade “my area” for hootchie-hoo! or “my pocketbook”

    • Esme March 29, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

      I thought it was great. I have used it since!

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