Just You & Your Hand Tonight…

23 Oct

…to quote one of my favorite P!nk songs…

So this bitch met up with one of her oldest friends last night (talking 17 years here) at an adorable little Irish bar the next town over.  This was not a dick-finding mission…we were not decked out, although she did rock some glitter eye-liner I am fucking jealous of!  This was two girlfriends getting together to discuss men, their appendages, us laughing, and maybe talking work and how we would change the world.  One of those kind of nights.  We all have them.  No interest in picking up men, in getting laid, or anything of the like.

A couple of hours and a few glasses of zinfindel into our evening, two extremely drunk fucknuts stumble over to our table.  Not even attractive fucknuts…it was an insult from the word go. One tossed his elbows onto the table, and proceeded to knock over, and break, my half-full glass of wine.  Yes, I am a fucking optimist.  That shit was half-full.  I was PISSED.

My girlfriend and I shot these fuck-tards some dirty looks.  One of them tried to apologize, then made some kind of lame-ass joke to cover his embarrassment.  Just walk away, I said.  Just…GO.  I dismissed them with a flick of my wrist and a nod of my head.

The stupid dumb fuck (I will never run out of adjectives for this guy) kept coming around the rest of the night.  The last time, he sided up to my girlfriend and grabbed her fucking crotch. She told him, very nicely I thought, to leave her the fuck alone.  What he deserved was a punch to the damn nose.

What the fuck is wrong with men these days??  In what world is it OK to walk up to some girl and grab snatch?  Do they really think it is a turn-on?  Or, do they do it hoping one day we will return the favor…walk up to some guy in a bar and press our hand against their little bulges?  Answers, please…

Much love, Esme


3 Responses to “Just You & Your Hand Tonight…”

  1. Ric October 24, 2010 at 7:49 am #

    No some men are just asses….the problem is…if you just grab crotches…we would enjoy it. Some men just don’t appreciate women, thinking that they are property, giving the rest of us huge barriers in trying to get laid. The least they should have done, was to buy you both glasses of wine. Next time, I would ask management if they had bouncers and get their asses kicked out. If its the type of place that didn’t, smack them in the nuts….thats the least they deserve.

  2. nikki04 October 31, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    Ummmm… perhaps he was trying to regain control in about the most cave-man-ly way possible?

    I have a word for that. Douche canoe (when a bag just isn’t enough).

    Like the blog!

    • Esme October 31, 2010 at 3:11 pm #

      Douche canoe…LOVE IT! That ups the container, when bag just doesn’t do it, indeed!
      Thanks for stopping by!

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