Are You Kidding Me!?

20 Apr

Dear Over-Emotional,

So you were one of the first guys I met here in New State.  Cute, unattached.  Everything I am looking for.  I thought we would get along well enough, for the time being, and have some fun.  Apparently we were not on the same page…

We went out on our first date, met for lunch.  Good date, good enough for date two.

Date two went off without a hitch.  We met for drinks at a bar.  Still didn’t kiss, nothing physical at all.  However we talked and had fun.

Date three was dinner and a movie.  This is when you started acting weird.  Talked of how you hated dating, but you were relationship ready.  Bells started dinging, warning horn blared.  Because of intuition, I didn’t let you give me a good night kiss.

The next day is when you erupted.  At ten in the morning, I received this text from you: There is nothing stopping us.

Me: ?

You: From being together forever.


M: the fact that I barely know you, and that forever is a long time.

What followed were several very long texts about how I was what you were looking for, and you were ready to be married again.  I ignored these, as they made me a little uncomfortable.  When I didn’t answer you began e-mailing me.  I got 8 e-mails in a 30 minute period.  8!  Asking if I missed you yet.  Telling me to stop dating like a man and be your woman.  I finally had to send you an e-mail, asking you to not contact me again.  Amazingly enough, you complied.  Haven’t heard from you since.

What in the hell made you do that?  I would say completely drunk, but then you would have had to drink all day, because that is how long it lasted.  Granted, I am one hell of a woman.  Must be it.  Fricking weirdo…

Love, Esme


2 Responses to “Are You Kidding Me!?”

  1. Cath April 21, 2010 at 4:59 pm #

    LMAO!!!!! I hope this is starting out at the bottom, and it will only get better from here!

  2. Esme April 21, 2010 at 9:28 pm #

    Oh Cath…you have no idea…

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