Two or three days after Loverboy commenced the Silent Treatment-I lost count while I was insanely flashing back-I got a call from L. It was during the day, so I knew he was at work. Hmm…not much conversation can happen while one is working…
L: Esme, hey.
L: What are you up to?
L: How have you been?
How have I been?? Are you fucking kidding me??
I unleashed. I told him how much he has hurt me the last few days. Explained the dark place he sent me to. How incredibly barbaric it was of him to Silent Treatment me when he knows my past. In turn, he told me how much he was looking forward to that night with me. How for six months he has been talking about me non-stop to his family, and he was so excited to show them this ‘amazing woman who wanted to date’ him.
Loverboy gave me pause. Was this argument all about that? The fact that he just really wanted to introduce me to his family, to ‘show me off’, so to speak? Not that that revelation excused his behavior toward me the following days, but I am friends with enough dudes to know that the introduction of someone you are in love with is a huge fucking deal.
L got choked up, and asked if I could just come over that night to talk. I agreed, as this conversation would be way more productive in person.
After the Silent Treatment started, I had walked around my house gathering up all of his shit, including everything he had ever given me. Sooo…it is safe to say I was fucking pissed. I grabbed the pile off of my kitchen table, and took it with me. Why? I’m not sure. To let him know I was pissed?
When I walked in the door, I plopped the pile on his kitchen table. L just looked at me.
E: This is all your shit that was at my house, and I am tired of looking at it.
Loverboy was rendered speechless. After a minute or two, he crossed the kitchen and took me into his arms. After a few seconds, I hugged him back. And we stood in silence for several long moments and just hugged. We needed that, it calmed us down.
We were able to have a very calm, rational discussion following that hug. He explained that he was so upset at the situation, he could feel himself taking it out on me, which he didn’t want to do. So in his weird male-hormoned brain, not talking to me made more sense. I explained why he can’t give me the Silent Treatment. I gave him an alternative-please just tell me you are angry at me or at a situation, and you need to calm down before we can discuss it rationally. He agreed to be more forthcoming about his feelings, and I accepted what he said at face value. Can I promise to not revert when Silent Treatment is given again? Nope. But I did promise that if he ever gave me the Silent Treatment again, he would never have to bother calling me. EVER again.
For a few days we had an uneasy alliance. You know those first few days after a major blowout and everyone is walking on egg shells? We did that. And one day, it was just all better.
The scare seemed to change Loverboy. He is a lot more open with his feelings, often telling me how lucky he is, how great I am, how he loves me, etc. He is more touchy-feely in front of family (before he would barely hold my hand). The changes have definitely been positive, and make me feel much more appreciated.
We will see how it goes.
On the This shit only happens to me front…
I met Loverboy’s new neighbors the other day. Neighbor caught sight of my firefighter plates on my vehicle, and inquired to where I work. I told him, and he asked me if I knew Ambulance Guy.
Are you fucking kidding me?? Ambulance Guys brother moved in next door to my boyfriend?!?
I can just see this going down…
Ex-fuck buddy? Meet boyfriend. Boyfriend, meet the guy I’d probably be fucking if I hadn’t met you.